Keeping kids in restraints (harness, bed-restraints...)

For safety reason I use locking cars seats for my boys (ages 10 and 12) whenever they ride in the back of the family minivan. Once a month we take a 6 hour drive from San Francisco to LA to visit the boy's grandparents. This is always a night time drive (less traffic) and we're on the road from 11 pm to 5 am. The boys don't like using public restrooms at 2 in the morning and so they actually ask to be diapered right before we start out.

I've found that the boys sleep much better during this drive if they wear night shades (blindfolds) for fewer distractions, and head harnesses to keep their heads upright and prevent flapping around. I noticed that the older boy had developed a habit of falling asleep with his hand placed down the front of his diaper and will sometimes rub there. Therefore I started using wrist cuffs for both boys to keep their hands positioned on the armrests at all times.

I never use diapers or restraints for punishment or discipline. I only use them for the monthly drive to LA and then only for safety and practicality. How do the boys feel about it? At first they objected to the wrist cuffs but they soon got used to it and now being strapped in is simply part of their lives.

I'll admit that after I've prepared them for the journey I'll take a moment to step back admire my handsome boys held immobile in their seats. If it ever becomes necessary I could add ankle cuffs and gags, but since they don't complain or kick there is really no reason. When we arrive in LA just before sunrise both boys have had 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep and are ready to start the day.

hi can you tell me more about them

Sure I can tell you more.

The boys usually spend the day before the trip playing sports or swimming so that when the time comes they're tired out and ready to sleep. Just before getting into the minivan the diapers go on. Since they're getting a bit bigger they don't care for pull-ups, the fit is too tight in the front and they're prone to leaks. The boys are more comfortable with Star Diapers and plastic pants. And they don't mind having their mother or I doing the actual diapering. They get the best fit that way. We get the youngest diapered first and then his older brother.

Once diapered they put on T-shirts and we walk to the van. We have an attached garage so they have privacy as they climb in and are positioned in their carseats. The seats are locked, the cuffs and nightshades go on and their heads are secured. If it's fall or winter I'll cover them up with a light blanket. Since they're used to the drill there's really no fuss.

The boys might talk a bit for the 15 minutes or so and ask to listen to music, but after half an hour they fall asleep and are out for the rest of the night. By the time we get to LA they're well rested and the diapers come off. They don't wet on every drive but it happened often enough that we wouldn't want to make the drive without protection.

It's an easy and safe way to travel with kids. I've talked about it with a few other parents and some of them are considering trying it for their own children.

Is there anything else you'd like to know? If so feel free to ask.

Hi! Thanks you so much for sharing your experiences. Can you tell us more, how do you restrain your boys in the car seat? What kind of straps are used und how are they fixed. How are the hands and heads fixed?

It's really quite simple. You just start with a good sturdy car seat that had armrests and a high back with padding on either side of the child's head for protection from side impact. If you do a google images search I'm sure you'll find many examples.

Small sized dog collars work well as wrist cuffs and sports headbands can be used to hold a child's head in place. It's not uncommon for kids to play games where they tie each other up. You can just approach this as a game of sorts and they'll be less likely to resist when the time comes. Also you need let your child get used to the idea in steps.

It really does require some trust on their part. Once the boys have been secured and strapped in their seats for the trip they're totally helpless and they know it. With blindfolds they can't even see where they are. I do own a set of ball gags but I don't think I'd ever go so far as to use them.