Bath together (kids/teens)

Tammy,

When I was growing up, families were larger and there was often just one bathroom in a house. Siblings often had to bathe together. I stayed overnight with a friend (another boy) who came from a family of 10 children when I was 9 years old. His older sisters always bathed him and his younger sister. When I was there, they bathed the two of us (we two boys). I was used to bathing myself!

Luke

Luke,

I have a few questions for you if you don't mind.

It sounds like this was a one-time incident when you were 9. If it wasn't how long did it continue - from what age to what age? Also, how old was the male friend? How old was his sister who was bathed with you? How old were the older sisters and how many were there? I'm assuming you and your friend were both naked, but was the younger sister who was bathed with you?

On a more personal note, the last sentence about you being used to bathing yourself makes it sound like it was a shocking experience, and the story has obviously managed to stick in your head all these years somehow. Were you embarrassed? Did you try to protest? Did the older sisters do a thorough job? Finally, did they take it upon themselves to bath you and the others or were their actions sanctioned by their mother/your mother?

I ask because I have strong feelings on the matter. I am perfectly fine with my own son being bathed by other females. I go so far as to encourage such actions when possible. It's a natural thing that he shouldn't be modest about, and the experience, while potentially embarrassing at first, will be for his own good. He is already significantly older than you were in your story, but I will continue to encourage this behavior for as long as possible. However, I'm not sure I'm ok with the younger sister being bathed with you guys without her having some sort of swimsuit on. Unless she was under, say 5, I don't think this was acceptable.

hi laura i also came from a large family they was 9 of us in the house and if cousin was there it be more. like luke said it normal have bath together no matter what age . if you waited u be late for work or school so usually there was at-least 3 in bathroom at a time. why do u think the girl should have wear swim suit . why u think nude among family and friends are wrong. why do you think just because you bath togeather it has to do with sex.

Hi Laura!

My friend and I were both nine years old. His sisters were 14 and 16. His house was a tight ship and those were the house rules. It was embarrassing the first night, but by the third night, I stopped washing myself and let them do it. I stayed for five nights. The actions were sanctioned by their mother. In their house, we lived by their family rules. My mother heard, but did not object.

The younger sister did not bathe with us. She was bathed either by herself or her younger brothers. As a boy, I did not rebell against authority or the system.

The next years, we went to summer camp together.

Luke

Thanks for the quick and detailed answers Luke. It sounds like the right approach was taken.

Sam, I think you misunderstand some of what I was asking. The situation is inherently sexual when non-family members of opposite sexes are put into situations where one sex is naked and the other is not - particularly because of the age-range we are discussing. This is a socialized feeling. However, I am suggesting that it shouldn't necessarily be that way. Luke, though naked in front of and in fact bathed by his friend's older sisters, should not have felt modest or objected. This was of course the approach he adopted given time, but it was not his natural reaction. This lack of modesty, feeling of not being threatened, and general willingness to be fully exposed, even in front of the opposite sex, are all male traits that should be re-socialized into our boys and young men. Quite the opposite is true of girls and young ladies; that is why I was concerned about the little sister.