Am I gay or straight?

I don't know, but I know for sure that I'm not straight since I heard that my friend who is totally straight have a lot of thoughts of girls and stuff. But however, I don't get any thoughts about me having a girlfriend or going into a relationship with a girl or thinking which girls are sexy and stuff that straight people think about. While I get turned on by boys.

If I'm really gay, I would accept it. Anyway, who even gets to choose their sexuality? I'm certain that I'm not straight as I can't imagine myself having sex with a girl, while I can imagine myself having sex with a boy and it turns me on, but when I imagine myself having sex with a girl, I don't get turned on at all. I get turned off if I have to have sex with a girl to have babies, I don't like that idea of having sex with a girl, in fact I can't think of having sex with a girl. While I get turned on if I imagine myself having sex with a boy, especially a hot boy.

Idea love relationship? That would be when both parties love each other unconditionally and are loyal to each other. And also able to confide in the other party and telling them their secrets. And I don't really care about looks that much, it's more of their personality.

I think I'm always this way, last time at secondary school, I had been like attached to some of my friends, like I want to be more than friends. But I don't get that attached to my best friend, the point is. I hadn't have a boyfriend nor girlfriend before. I already told my best friend that I'm gay. The only person I had told and he's okay with it. I probably tell my parents when I'm 25.

I don't know why but I keep on checking whether u would reply my message or not. I totally have no idea, it's like I don't even know u in real life but yet I kept on checking everyday whether u had replied to my message. And I feel kind of disappointed when I don't see any reply, I don't know why I'm feeling this despite barely knowing u. Like I will check everyday I wake up to see if u have replied. Maybe it's because we have something in common? Since I know how mental illness affect people's life. Since I have OCD, basically obsessed with cleanliness. Or maybe it's because I'm comfortable talking to u? I don't know why I seem to anticipate your reply so much....