Marriage: Your Thoughts & Opinions

I think that work is an unfortunate necessity that can really mess with family life. It is better for the mom and dad to both work part-time so they still have time for the kids and for home maintenance, both of which are full-time jobs, but unfortunately no one can spend the necessary time on without being independently wealthy. Also, some people are not meant for the same jobs as other people, some are artists and are crushed by labor or desk jockeying. In this situation it's okay if the woman is making more money. The dad will probably be a more fun nurturer anyway.

In an ideal scenario, I think the best arrangement is when a husband works and earns enough to allow his wife to remain a homemaker. It's just the best option for the kids to have someone home permanently, and it's good for a wife to be able to focus on simply being a good wife rather than stressing over a job. I can understand a wife wanting to keep her existing career when she gets married, especially if it's high-paying, but women who are housewives consistently report being happier than women with careers.

But of course, the ideal is not always possible or even desirable for everyone, and in that case I think a good secondary option would be both parents working part-time, hopefully with schedules that allow them to still spend time together with some matching days off. This might also allow both spouses to avoid spending decades to pay off college loans if they can get decent part-time work that doesn't require a 4, 6, or 8 year degree.

I agree that in an ideal world, one person should be enough to make an income that pays the bill for the family. Being a housewife and mother is a full time job by itself, one that can not be truly fulfilled if the wife has to work for any reason (bills, career, etc). If both have to work, it wil always create a tension if decisions need to be made between job or family, and everyone will be a loser, especially the children.

Perfectly said, Manuela. The world needs more women who feel this way.

There wasn't really a good option to choose from in the poll. I went for 'both should work', because it's at least fair, but it's actually terrible, if both parents work full time.

Both parents working part-time is the ideal solution. But that's not always feasible. Having one breadwinner and one dedicated homemaker can also work, but I find it ludicrous to suggest, that these should be rigidly assigned by sex.

Anyone, who isn't willing to sacrifice living standard in order to adhere to an ideology, will consider these factors: Which parent earns more? Which parent's career has more long-term potential? Which parent's career is more negatively impacted by taking a long break? Which parent is more satisfied at their job? Which parent has better skills as a homemaker? Do the job hours allow to see the children during the day? etc.

I always hear the argument from tradcons that so-and-so many housewifes report being happier than working moms. But they never bother to inquire after the feelings of the stay-at-home dads. Of course most people will prefer raising their children and being their own boss at home instead of working the average soul-crushing nine to five job.