Parents and Spanking

Liz, I took this poll seriously. I have two boys, ages 9 and 11, and I would never spank them or allow anybody else to spank them. It is a useless, sadistic, ineffective method of discipline. The people who still spank their kids are either hard core bible thumpers or from the South, not well educated, and were spanked/beaten as kids and don't know any better. The trouble with these types of polls is that you have a lot of perverts who like to fantasize about spanking. In actuality, very few people spank their kids anymore because of the social stigma and tougher child protection laws. If a daycare center or public school were to spank a kid out in California, there would be a lawyer calling them within 24 hours wanting details for a lawsuit.

Kids are not animals. You don't beat them to change their behavior. I have read about the pervert who likes to use the Lexan paddle on his kids and the other liar who likes to spank a kid's testicles. Child Protection Agency would be parked on their doorstep if they were telling the truth. Children liked to be paid attention to, shown affection, and given positive reinforcement when they do things right. That is also known as effective parenting.

Thank you for my two cents worth.

I'm using my son's user for this because he said I could. Liz, I am an atheist and my kids aren't. In your opinion, it doesn't work and using it as a first resort is bad, it won't work then, it'll just end up becoming abuse but if it's a last resort, then in my opinion, it isn't. My sons and my daughter ( before she became 16, shes 20 now ), and they say if they agree, it's OK. Regards PJ's father, John

========== In Reply To ========== Liz, I took this poll seriously. I have two boys, ages 9 and 11, and I would never spank them or allow anybody else to spank them. It is a useless, sadistic, ineffective method of discipline. The people who still spank their kids are either hard core bible thumpers or from the South, not well educated, and were spanked/beaten as kids and don't know any better. The trouble with these types of polls is that you have a lot of perverts who like to fantasize about spanking. In actuality, very few people spank their kids anymore because of the social stigma and tougher child protection laws. If a daycare center or public school were to spank a kid out in California, there would be a lawyer calling them within 24 hours wanting details for a lawsuit.

Kids are not animals. You don't beat them to change their behavior. I have read about the pervert who likes to use the Lexan paddle on his kids and the other liar who likes to spank a kid's testicles. Child Protection Agency would be parked on their doorstep if they were telling the truth. Children liked to be paid attention to, shown affection, and given positive reinforcement when they do things right. That is also known as effective parenting.

Thank you for my two cents worth.

This is Liz and I am sorry, but I actually did not give my opinion one way or another. See I am really interested in your opinions so it doesn't make a difference what I think.

Thank you for giving me your insight, I appreciate it. ========== In Reply To ========== I'm using my son's user for this because he said I could. Liz, I am an atheist and my kids aren't. In your opinion, it doesn't work and using it as a first resort is bad, it won't work then, it'll just end up becoming abuse but if it's a last resort, then in my opinion, it isn't. My sons and my daughter ( before she became 16, shes 20 now ), and they say if they agree, it's OK. Regards PJ's father, John

Thank you for taking this seriously, I appreciate it. I am sorry that I have not responded sooner, but I was having some technical difficulty. ========== In Reply To ========== Liz, I took this poll seriously. I have two boys, ages 9 and 11, and I would never spank them or allow anybody else to spank them. It is a useless, sadistic, ineffective method of discipline. The people who still spank their kids are either hard core bible thumpers or from the South, not well educated, and were spanked/beaten as kids and don't know any better. The trouble with these types of polls is that you have a lot of perverts who like to fantasize about spanking. In actuality, very few people spank their kids anymore because of the social stigma and tougher child protection laws. If a daycare center or public school were to spank a kid out in California, there would be a lawyer calling them within 24 hours wanting details for a lawsuit.

Kids are not animals. You don't beat them to change their behavior. I have read about the pervert who likes to use the Lexan paddle on his kids and the other liar who likes to spank a kid's testicles. Child Protection Agency would be parked on their doorstep if they were telling the truth. Children liked to be paid attention to, shown affection, and given positive reinforcement when they do things right. That is also known as effective parenting.

Thank you for my two cents worth.

I have a son, age 10. I have used spanking as a punishment/discipline tool on the rare occasion that I felt it was necessary. I am neither a Bible-thumper, from the South, poorly educated, nor ignorant, and I find those remarks to be ignorant themselves.

I was spanked as a child, but far more harshly than I have ever spanked my son. He gets one swat, on fully clothed buttocks, with the flat of my hand - on two occasions, he received three swats. (My father used the belt and would basically hit us until his arm got tired or his ears got sore. My mother used the flyswatter, which in its way was worse than the belt.)

I do not believe that spanking should be the default punishment and my personal opinion is that, after the age of four, if a spanking is administered more often than once every six months, there is a flaw in the family functionality that should be addressed by counseling. In my house, spankings are given for DELIBERATE and KNOWN acts of disobedience - NEVER for acts of accident, carelessness, or oversight.

One feature in your poll, Liz: The "who administers spankings" did not offer a way to delineate between two-parent and single-parent households. I am a single parent, and my son's father lives across the country. Therefore I am the one to administer ALL forms of discipline/punishment. His father visits with him for about three weeks a year, which fairly well insulates him from his father's much less restrained temper. My son's father spanked him, hard and repeatedly, when he was about ten months old, an act that led to our divorce (which would have happened anyway, but that sped it up considerably).

I would never allow anyone else to spank my son, because I have very strict criteria for spanking-worthy offenses and, to be frank, I don't trust anyone else to adhere to my standards. That said, I have never scrupled to administer a swat in public, and I have never been approached for doing so.

The last two lines of the comment to which I'm responding are perfectly and absolutely true - but do not necessarily preclude corporal punishment on the rare occasion it should be needed (and I emphasize "rare").

As an illustration: The last time my son received a spanking was about a year ago, when he was in a foul mood and became angry about something I would not let him do. In his anger, he picked up a heavy object near to hand and threw it at me. I walked over to him and gave him one sound swat before he had much time to react. He was stunned by this (because I don't often spank him; I think the last time was four years prior to that), and I explained to him calmly that he needed to learn to control his temper, because there is always someone bigger and meaner than you, and indulging your temper by provoking someone is a good way to get yourself beaten to a pulp. I pointed out that I had given him one hard swat, but if he were in a social setting and threw a rock at someone because he was angry, the odds are great that he would be (1) pummelled, (2) suspended or expelled, and/or (3) arrested.

I felt this was a necessary lesson for him to learn, because his father is prone to violence, and has indeed gotten into several problems for letting his two-dollar mouth override his 10-cent behind; I wanted my son to not only hear about, but to actually EXPERIENCE the negative consequences that a lost temper can reap.

When my son has done something that causes me to truly lose MY temper, I go into another room to calm down before attempting any punishment - I refuse to allow anger to guide my choices for discipline and, when necessary, punishment.

I respect other parents' opinions that spanking is inhumane or barbaric or what have you, and I think that it's critically important not to pre-judge a parent on the sweeping generalization of "you think spanking is okay, therefore you are a heartless pitiless monster who regularly beats your child senseless, and you should be arrested."

-e

Original Post: The people who still spank their kids are either hard core bible thumpers or from the South, not well educated, and were spanked/beaten as kids and don't know any better. The trouble with these types of polls is that you have a lot of perverts who like to fantasize about spanking. In actuality, very few people spank their kids anymore because of the social stigma and tougher child protection laws. If a daycare center or public school were to spank a kid out in California, there would be a lawyer calling them within 24 hours wanting details for a lawsuit.

Kids are not animals. You don't beat them to change their behavior. I have read about the pervert who likes to use the Lexan paddle on his kids and the other liar who likes to spank a kid's testicles. Child Protection Agency would be parked on their doorstep if they were telling the truth. Children liked to be paid attention to, shown affection, and given positive reinforcement when they do things right. That is also known as effective parenting.