COWS!!!!!

Once upon a time, there was a COW. He was a cliche' cow named Bob. The boys in my second grade class named him. No, actually, they didn't!!! I was joking!!! The cow was a very nice cow, and he was NOT named Bob!!! And he was SO not a cliche'!!!! The cow didn't have a name, because he knew who he was. We humans have names because WE don't know who we are. (Thanks, author of Coraline!) So, anyway, on with the story.......

I want to hear the rest of the story!!! Where is it? I WANT it!!!!!

I don't want to wast my time reading a stupid story about a cow!!! Don't you dare write the rest!!! Go out, get a life, and stop annoing innocent people with stupid cow stories!!!

This rope is my guide in the darkness. Gravity is telling me to follow it downward, into the cave, where things are deeper and darker, and not as easily seen. There is water in this cave. If no light reaches this place, than what is sparkling off the water?

What happened to the cow?

I don't care what it sparkling off the freaking water!

A lama is. Lamas are everywhere.

Ohhh, that's poignant! (sniff)

You tell me.

If you hammer a nail into the trunk of a tree, the tree's bark will eventually grow over the nail. Time and evolution try to hide the prickly wound, but there will always be a cold, unsightly bump underneath forced beauty. One day, my father and I ventured into our overgrown yard, bright, boisterous flowers throwing the quiet graves of lost pets into shadow, and tried to remove the nails from a tree. The people who owned our house before us had tried to build a treehouse in our tree, trying to lean a secret hideout onto something much stronger, and they had hammered nails into the tree and never taken them out. We tried to pull the nails out, but they were buried too deep.

Try harder!

What happened to the water? And the cow?

So poignant it makes me cry!(sniff)

I don't care.

Have you ever seen a thorn?

Yes.

No.

WHAT ARE WE REALLY TALKING ABOUT HERE?!? A COW, WATER, THORNS, OR NAILS???????

Poignant. I'm impressed.