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Tickling and the Miracle of Birth

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Examining hypothetical scenarios related to tickling, birth, and the like. The terms "wife" and "husband" are used for simplicity, substitute the appropriate term for your situation.
Are you or have you been pregnant?
Yes
No
Are you actively trying to get pregnant or planning to get pregnant in the next year?
Yes
No
If you answered yes to either or the first two questions, how do you feel about being tickled?
Like it
Dislike it
It all depends
If you answered yes to either of the first two questions, rate how ticklish you are:
Not ticklish
A little ticklish
Moderately ticklish
Very ticklish
Supposing a way was discovered to replace all pain and discomfort in the birthing process with a sense of being tickled. What do you think?
That sounds great!
That sounds awful!
Women only: would you use such a procedure yourself?
Yes
No
Suppose this procedure guaranteed 0% mortality rate for mother and child. How would you feel about it now?
I'm a woman and I would definitely use it.
I'm a woman and I might use it.
I'm a woman and I definitely wouldn't use it.
I'm a man and would strongly encourage my wife to use it.
I'm a man and would not encourage my wife one way or another.
I'm a man and would strongly discourage my wife from using it.
If additional tickling was also necessary throughout the entire labor process, who should be responsible for that?
Husband
Nurses
Mother's friends or family
Specially trained hospital personnel
Volunteers
If it guaranteed the survival of mother and child, do you think such a procedure (even if it makes the mother very sensitive to tickling) should be legally mandatory for all deliveries?
Yes
No
Yes, but only those who receive public medical assistance
No, unless the doctor feels it's advisable, then it becomes mandatory
The birthing process can take hours. Assuming a break can last no more than one minute, which is preferable:
Full body tickling with breaks every ten minutes
Two people tummy tickling with breaks every hour
Tickling in three places with breaks every fifteen minutes (then change to new spots)
Moderate tickling with breaks only when medically necessary
Intense tickling with breaks only when medically necessary
For men, would you feel comfortable if your wife was being tickled by strangers during delivery?
Yes
No
No, if they were women
Should tickling be done in birthing classes to prepare for the delivery?
Yes
No
If so, how often?
Just once
Once per month
Once per week
Supposing an additional procedure increased breast-milk production and improved it so that the child now shared all immunities that the mother did and gained other health benefits, but it resulted in extreme tickling during feeding and pumping. Assuming this would not actually interfere (no fear of dropping the infant, etc.) what are your feelings?
I'm a woman and would definitely use it.
I'm a woman and I might use it.
I'm a woman and I would definitely not use it.
I'm a man and would strongly encourage my wife to do it.
I'm a man and would not encourage my wife one way or another.
I'm a man and would strongly discourage my wife from doing it.
If this process would result in significant decreases in childhood illness and mortality, should this process be made legally mandatory?
Yes
No
If so, should mandatory breast and nipple tickling be practiced leading up to delivery to help the mother prepare for the experience?
Yes
No
If so, how often?
Once a month
Once every two weeks
Once every week
Twice a week
Daily
And for how long?
Fifteen minutes
Half an hour
An hour, spread over the course of the day
An hour, straight
More than one hour, spread over the course of the day
More than an hour straight
If this provided health benefits to the population at large (for example, strengthen bones in the elderly), current laws control the sale of breast milk. What would you feel should happen under these circumstances?
Keep things as they are
Allow women to be pumped at facilities akin to plasma centers for paid service, to be given to those with immediate medical need.
Allow companies that meet regular health requirements to hire women for this pumping full or part time, to be sold as any other commercial product.
Mandate women who have delivered and receive public health benefits to provide a certain quantity for immediate medical need.
Mandate all women who have delivered to provide a certain quantity for immediate medical need.
If mandatory, should the mother receive any benefits?
No
Yes, tax credits
Yes, deferment from jury duty
Yes, satisfying community service
Yes, additional maternity leave
Yes, other
Assuming the process induces lactation in women who are not pregnant, would it be fair for a woman to be given the option of pumping as an alternative to fines or imprisonment for crimes they are found guilty of?
No
Yes
If there is sufficient demand, should the judge have the option to make it mandatory?
No
Yes
Only for certain crimes
If the procedure caused significant enlargement in women with smaller breasts, should it be permissible for them to take it for cosmetic purposes?
No, medical use only
Yes
Yes, if they agree to mandatory pumping
For women only, which of the following pumping scenarios would you consider if it only tickled as much as feeding the baby?
For cash
For an alternative sentence
For exemptions of various services
Other
What if it required more intense tickling than normal (such as tickling the breast directly in addition to the normal sensation)?
For cash
For an alternative sentence
For exemptions of various services
Other
If these procedures were mandatory, what benefits should pregnant women receive for the savings to the health care system they are providing?
Women, if these changes were made, would it effect your decision to get pregnant?
No
Yes, I would avoid it
Yes, I would be more likely to try to have it
This poll was created on 2012-10-01 21:56:48 by girltickle