The effectiveness of spanking as a punishment

The longest spanking that I ever received was for doing something that my mum said was very very naughty and I must say that I am very sorry for being bad and I must promise to never ever do it ever again.

I told her that there was nothing wrong with what I was doing and it was NOT naughty at all and all the other kids were already doing exactly the same thing anyway and none of their parents bothered.

My mum said "I don't care if other children are doing it, I am not having any child of MINE doing that!" I knew that it was not naughty so my mum just continued spank me for ages because I refused to agree with her. I think she only stopped spanking me because her hand was sore.

6 months later my friends and I all did the same thing again and my mum never bothered. I think after talking to other parents she very quickly changed her mind.

This is why I believe that mothers should ALWAYS be spanked if they ever give an unjust spanking. Often a mothers opinions are wrong. They have a different opinion to that of their kids and call their kids naughty and spank them for it. This is what gives spanking parents a bad name.

I see what you mean Dazo, but who decides if a spanking is unjust? your mom might have been wrong to spank you, or maybe she just changed her mind on what deserves a spanking, and you were old enough then.

There were times when i didnt think i deserved a spanking from my stepdad. i think he was wrong to spank me for some of the things he said i did. but i would never think that he should be spanked for unjustly spanking me, even if it was completely unjust. i was living in his house, so it was up to him to decide if what i did deserved a spanking.

I'm now in my late 40's and felt that my mother should have stop spanking me at the age 16

but it was her home and her rules so till 21 when i left i got spanked and harder and longer if i answer back or fight with her. I just had too accept it like it or not.

Dazo:

"Often a mothers opinions are wrong. They have a different opinion to that of their kids and call their kids naughty and spank them for it. This is what gives spanking parents a bad name."

I completely agree. There were numerous occasions when I received a few slaps on my behind through my clothes for things I had done wrong, even by accident, but I had actually done them, and got those slaps on the spot, there and then. They didn't even really hurt that much, but message received.

The one and only time I got taken upstairs for a proper spanking I definitely didn't deserve it. Firstly, I didn't even understand that I was doing something wrong, and secondly, it wasn't even the worst thing I did. None of that mattered to my mother. Sometimes I now wonder if she was simply looking for the first opportunity to show me what she would do to me if I misbehaved in future, in the hope that she wouldn't need to do it ever again.

But I still don't think spanking is an effective punishment, because as I was bent over the bed, underwear round my ankles, being beaten with the brush, I remember the anger and shock at the betrayal, that this person could willingly inflict such pain on me. And I call it a beating, rather than a spanking, because that's what it was. I heard friends say they got spanked, so for a long thought I wasn't alone in being treated this way, but their 'spankings' turned out to be just a few slaps, maybe supplemented with a handful of whacks with a slipper. They barely even had time to cry.

Nobody I knew received a sustained punishment that lasted several minutes, long enough for their sister to hear what was going on, come upstairs, watch for a bit, then go away again when she thought it was over because our mother had hit me so hard the brush had flown out of her hand. I thought it was over too and began to stand up. I had definitely had enough. But no, as my sister headed downstairs again, she heard the beating resume.

That she wanted to keep beating me taught me that I was powerless. There was nothing I could have done to avoid this 'spanking'. I received it on my mother's whim.

It wasn't an effective punishment because it wasn't really connected to an offence. A couple of years later I did something far worse, and fully expected to be taken away for a proper beating, but I didn't get punished at all. The only other time I came close wasn't my fault either. My mother had put an item of clothing in the wash without realising it but thought I had hidden it so I didn't have to wear it again. "If you don't bring it back to me right now I will take you in there, I will get the brush, and I will beat you with it," she warned. I was already crying, terrified, as I looked through all the drawers. Fortunately she found it before she turned to the brush.

This was only a couple of decades ago. I'm glad I live in a time and country where if this happened today, I would be taken into care and she would go to prison.

Dear analee

You said:

"who decides if a spanking is unjust? your mom might have been wrong to spank you, or maybe she just changed her mind on what deserves a spanking, and you were old enough then."

So I am old enough 6 months later when I am still the same numerical age to do something that kids a year younger than me were already doing 6 months previously.

I am sorry analee you are usually extremely logical but that just does not hold water.

Bunny nub gave a perfect personal argument against spanking. But the thing is, his story about his mums accusation of him hiding the item that she had put in the washing machine and then threatening him has nothing to do with spanking.

I was spanked at Primary school but I have had 2 NONE spanking teachers yell and scream and bollock me no end and then threaten me with expulsion from school and all sorts of other punishments as well as soon as they have got to the bottom of the incident and I yell back at them at the top of my voice "YEAH you go get to the bottom of this you go and get them in here RIGHT NOW!" to which they yell back at me "GO STAND OUTSIDE THE HEADS OFFICE NOW YOU ARE IN DETENTION AND YOU WILL BE IN BIG TROUBLE AS SOON AS I GET BACK!"

So I am stood there all day and when they finally got back they calmly said "You can go!" and I refused.

I said "No!" I'm not going anywhere, you said that you would get to the bottom of this and expel those responsible. I want you to go and bring every one else in here just like you said you would!"

At this point he very calmly but very assertively ordered me to drop the matter immediately or else he would hold me in detention until I did.

Now what does that tell you?

It means that he had found out that I was right and he was wrong and if he had investigated and done what he said he was going to do then he would have got in trouble for his threat against me.

However he was well within his right to hold me indefinitely. There was no limit to how long he could hold me in detention.

I was forced to drop it and the guilty parties all got off. I had been set up and he did not know that but that is no excuse. My opinion is that he should have done exactly what he said or he should have been sacked! He was obviously afraid that if he had have done what he said then he WOULD have been sacked! He could not expel an entire gang of kids.

Why else do you think I am so against the reintroduction of the cane into schools?

It is NOT about spanking. It is about abuse of power and that is what I hate. Those in power don't admit when they are wrong. And if they don't they should be SACKED on the spot! They are more concerned with covering their own $%!@.

Now you cannot sack your own mother. But she should NEVER be exempt from the house rules. Making rules does not mean making them up as it goes along.

Is that clearer now?

I am sorry if I sounded angry, I hate disagreeing with you analee and I think your stepdad was too strict with you but your "old enough then" case does not hold water. :(