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Fair Unbiased Political Poll

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WARNING: This poll is intended for Americans. But I don't mind if others take it also. For each question, please choose the statement with which you most agree.
The basics: Left-wing / Right-wing?
Jesus says retarded gays must be put to death!
Man-on-pumpkin sex is an inalienable right and must be taught to children!
Religion in politics?
All infidels shall be purged from the Earth!
Religion is a mental disease; the Bible must be banned!
"Intelligent Design"?
The Evolution Nazis are trying to impose their dogma on our children!
Anyone who believes in ID should be put in a mental institution!
President George W. Bush?
Put Bush on Mt. Rushmore - He's better than Washington!
Bush is a Nazi, and anyone who votes for him is supporting the devil!
Tax cuts?
Give the rich more money! When the rich get richer... the poor get richer, too.
Money is the root of all evil, so we should use a communist economical system!
The Middle East?
It is America's sacred duty to bring the tyrants to their knees!
Genocide and oppresive theocracies are just as acceptable as democracy!
Global warming?
There is no such thing as global warming; it is a media scare tactic!
The human race will die from flooding within ten years!
Abortion?
An embryo/fetus is a human life, and should be given the right to vote!
Abortions are great; everyone should have one!
Gay marriage?
We need to add an amendment to the Constitution condemning homosexuality as sin!
Everyone knows gay marriages are more stable and ethical than heterosexual ones!
Affirmative action?
Colleges should not be allowed to know the racial backgrounds of applicants!
Colleges need to make sure that no more than 50% of the student body is white!
Torture of terrorist detainees?
Those SCUM are less than human - we should pull their limbs off one by one until they start talking!
We should simply ask prisoners, "Pretty please with sugar on top, tell us where the nuclear bomb is?"
Censorship?
Anyone caught looking at pornography should have his eyes gauged out.
Promote the arts - the government should subsidize Playboy!
Mainstream news media?
The media is being run by homosexual, liberal, elitist Jews who hate America.
The news media actually has a Republican bias - they are nothing more than a puppet for the neocons.
Prayer in public schools?
All schoolchildren should be required to give thanks to Our Lord Jesus Christ each day.
Students should be taught that the Bible is nothing but a pack of lies!
Capital punishment?
We should make capital punishment mandatory for crimes like welfare fraud and underage smoking.
The government has no right to punish prisoners - we must show mass rapists and murderers LOVE!
The constitution?
Activist judges are trying to subvert our Constitution with radical left-wing dogma!
Judges have the power to read into the minds of our Founding Fathers.
Gun control?
You'll get my bazooka when you pry it from my cold, dead, hands!
We should outlaw guns, and send anyone found with one to be executed via firing squad.
This poll was created on 2005-11-09 12:50:44 by aaronak