The Shari Poll: 1.0

Let's begin with a little demographic information. Please confess your gender.

And of course we will want your age. We must separate the dreamy codgers from the grumpy young folks. Although, truthfully, I think that age questions are used to make you feel nervous when you notice you have moved from the top of one group to the bottom of another. (Not unlike going from being the nobles of junior high to the coffee grounds of high school, back when junior high existed.)

Blame Austin Powers, but nothing cracks the grins faster than being asked, "What's your sign, baby?" Because I want to see smiles on everyone's face, I'll ask too.

For our last dry and dreary question, before we get into the wheat meat of the matter, please choose one of the following to describe your sibling position.

Alright then. Pretend you are a Catholic. (Real Catholics should just ad lib.) It's November the 3rd and you have a busy day. Looks like you'll only have time to attend one saint's feast. But uh oh, four different saints have their feast days on November the 3rd! Which do you pick? And remember, choose wisely.

You meet a guy while out and about somewhere. You start to talk and you're increasingly impressed with his intelligence. You find that you agree with his outlook on many topics. The conversation turns political and you quickly discover that he feels the same way you do about all of the issues near and dear to your heart. He mentions that he's going to be running for office in the next election and you are delighted. You haven't felt this politically motivated in years. He hands you his card. After he leaves, you look at it and discover that he's a member of the political party which you always vote against. Now, pretend that you won't have the chance to talk with him again before the election. What do you do?

You're sitting in a park, calmly having a little snack, when a group of six Celtic language enthusiasts appears before you. Each one offers you 4 million dollars to learn a different Celtic language. You can only pick one, and if you don't agree to learn one then terrible things will happen to you and everyone you care about. Which do you choose?

You go out to eat at Olive Garden. Your server is the very definition of rude and incompetent. The food tastes cold. When you try to complain, you get a blank stare. The manager is nowhere to be found. Still, the breadsticks are nice. It's time to leave, and you're faced with the decision to tip. Which of the below actions most suits you?

Caffeine. How do you feel about it? Please check all that apply.

Research is one of my passions. (I sound like Liz Taylor selling perfume, don't I?) Particularly genealogy. Let's see where's you're at with it.

"Little Women" Great book, sometimes a fine movie. But doesn't one of the sisters especially get on your nerves? Which one?

We've touched on religion and politics, which means it's time to get sexy. What's the minimum amount of money someone would have to pay you to get you to appear naked on television. Just naked, in a setting of your choice, but clearly visible from any angle. This would be pay-per-view, so not everyone could or would tune in. Also, there would be some futuristic technology to keep anyone from recording the event. Well?

Mike and I are hungry for sandwiches, and you're our cook. You turn on the stove and get out a pan then put a dab of butter (not oleo) into it. When the pan is coated with melted butter, you lay down some bread. You then sprinkle cheese on each slice. When it melts, you stick a tomato slice in and put the bread together to make sandwiches. I ask you what kind of sandwiches you made. You say...

The media finally realized that the Internet was here to stay, but its attitude and savvy remains all over the board. On the whole, what is your perception of the average news reporter when it comes to Internet matters?

What kind of bristles do you prefer on your toothbrush?

I'm knitting something in three different colours of yarn. A "pine" blend, a "country" blend, and a sort of medium blue, although normally I eschew lighter blue tones and all pastels. What do you think I'm knitting?

I'm afraid that's all the time for today. I'll add more questions as I think of them. Well, here's one more right now. Below are some topics for future questions. Please check all that you would find of interest.