User: Dr. Who

Hi Dave - I have no doubt that you could speak and do a presentation at these conference things. It's a lot of hard work - some of which I' m doing for the PhD anyway - but it means giving up evenings spent with Clare when she is either off work or on day shift. However, this won't last long - week after next. Conference runs Monday - Wed. - I'll be speaking at a plenary session on Monday and then at two seminars on Tuesday. It all is a very daunting prospect but I've got a good grip on the subjects so should be able to present it well - it's the questions that people will ask in the seminars that worry me, the great unknown!!! Wednesday I'm not speaking but will attend as the subject is Artificial Intelligence which is the next big thing. I'll be going along to listen and to learn as I'm needing to expand into that field. This is the problem with technology - something new is always coming along. It is hard to keep abreast of it. My boss knows that me speaking at these things can help our business as people are interested in what I am doing and where I work so I hope I'm giving a good impression of our business. I had thought that, on the Wednesday, I could wear shorts as I'm not speaking at anything but, it seems, that to have any credibility at these things you gotta wear a suit. I've always taken the view that it's what I bring to the job and how I do it that matters - not the style of dress. However, "when in Rome" etc. It happens that Clare is actually off on the Thursday and Friday after the conference so we'll get some time to ourselves.

Speaking of which, the boss gave us a surprise on Monday morning!! In the autumn we are moving to new premises - our present building has outgrown us - we just don't have enough office space. Most of us have a "blended" working arrangement i.e. working from home (WFH) and also coming into the office. I'm in my office at some point 3 days a week - there are positive advantages in being "in" at work, meeting other people, sharing ideas etc. I think WFH could become very isolating - it certainly isn't for everyone!! I like the blended arrangement and it works for me.

Somebody else who is building is my Dad. Myself, Josh and Aaron are greatly blessed to have all our grandparents still with us although they are aging now. They live in large houses and would like to downsize. what Dad offered was to do a conversion of two old barns that are on our plot of land - the rest of the family are going to contribute financially and will be close enough at hand to be able to give support as our grandparents get older - it wouldn't be down to Mum and Dad as can so often happen. I'll be interested to see how this turns out but, going by what Dad says, it will be a very good job - Dad knows a lot of people in the building trade so he will be sure of getting ti done well.

I don't remember much about being in the Seychelles as I was quite young - it sometimes happens that travel agents will off load holidays at half-price and it was just by chance that Dad saw it and jumped at the opportunity. It was very much last minute so it was all of a bit of a rush to get organised to go - but Mum and Dad enjoyed it, I know that much. Cheap holidays can be got provided people are happy to go at short notice and take whatever comes along.

We're planning for our holiday, beginning of July when all the family will meet up, again, at a caravan/camping site in the Trossachs. We all enjoyed it last year. You might ask why Clare and I "trike" there - it's about 60 miles - but we found last year that by the time we arrived we were well and truly in holiday mode. We'd finished work the day before so the journey just helped us get into holiday mode. This year we're planning to use some Forestry Commission trails through the forest to get there - it will be hard going but we are both up for it. This is where the old Duke of Ed. training kicks in with map and compass - doing this will cut the journey time in half so we've been studying maps and working out how we will get there from here. A few of our friends had done this and found it to be OK - we would be out in the middle of nature and I think it will be great. The trails are fairly good and there aren't any steep hills - it is all designed that way as Forestry commission vehicles also have to get around. It will be slightly more difficult as we will both be towing trailers. Last year we loved being together as a family for a whole two weeks - doesn't often happen. Josh is back home from the Middle East - they were sent out there to plan for the possible evacuation of British citizens if Iran and Israel went to war. I think everybody learned from the shambolic evacuation from Kabul - the plans are still in place should they be needed. It is assumed that airports will be out of action so this will be a sea borne evacuation if needed. The Brits won't be "boots on the ground" but, if that is the case, then Josh's boots will be there as he is now training as part of a special unit within the Commandos , the same as the SAS - to think that Dad whipped his butt hard and got nowhere but he is now doing something that requires a cool head, courage, determination and discipline!!

Take care. J.

Hi Dave - yes, I think Craig's focus is right - get through Cambridge first and then begin to explore the options!! Whatever happens you and Craig are a strong couple and you will be able to make it work - he deserves every opportunity and should take it now. Clare and I are a very strong couple - always have been and we have needed to be. Sometimes I wish I'd started the PhD a few years ago and gone full time - doing the PhD part-time is challenging but Clare is a great support - in fact, we support each other enormously. Like Craig, Clare doesn't know what she will do after she finishes her time as a junior doctor - has about another 8 months to go. She could do GP training and be out in the community or she could follow a speciality in hospital and work her way up to become a consultant. Robbie will be 2 soon and we'd like another kid but that will have to wait. Clare went back on the contraceptive pill and I still use condoms so we're not worried about an unexpected pregnancy. Clare would like her junior doctor time finished before we think about more kids. However, we're making it all work and still enjoying life - you and Craig will do the same. Speaking of the PhD - in a few weeks time I'm speaking at another conference hosted by the Uni - this will be big as it lasts over 3 days. I've got to speak at 2 plenary sessions and at a couple of seminars. The Uni hosts these event and is paid for doing it - also it is an opportunity to put their post grad students through their paces!! I can see how ti would be helpful to a post grad in finding future work to speak at these things, but I'm not in the job market. What I will be doing in my various presentations ties in with my Uni work anyway. For the first one I did i was in tee shirt and shorts and my fellow post grad was in the traditional student "uniform" of tee shirt and jeans - that was OK. It has been suggested to us that for this forthcoming one we need to wear suit, shirt and tie - that is OK with me but I can still do the job in shorts!! Clare and I looked at the suit I have and she thought it was a bit "tired" looking and she is right. Last Saturday we left Robbie with friends and went shopping for a suit in Edinburgh. Eventually, in a small shop, we found one we both liked - grey, understated and comfortable. I don't buy clothes unless I feel comfortable in them and I knew I wouldn't do a good job at this conference if I don't feel comfortable. Got a white shirt and nice tie to go with it. Clare has assured me that she will DEFINITELY $%!@ my brains out after this is over!! I think I'll need it!!

Speaking of suits - there is a slang word "suits" which refers to management types who think they are better than anyone else - I def. don't want to become a "suit"!!

When you mentioned that you were going to the Seychelles you triggered a memory for em - as kids we were there with our parents but I don't remember much about it. What happened was that it was the week before one of our school half terms - Mum and Dad had both been working really hard - Dad saw a half price holiday in the Seychelles advertised for the following week (our half term) - he booked it for Mum and us and we went. I remember the flight being long (when you're a kid anything seems long)- also the beaches were sandy and it was hot!! Don't remember more than that!! However, it will be nice and def. something to look forward to.

We've decided we need to build a new garage - our present one was damaged by Storm Isha and then we discovered it contained asbestos. I'm liberating more money from my trust found for it - we're building a double garage, even though we don't need it - it gives us storage, a space for me to do bike maintenance and there will be a room in which Clare can do her jewelry work - she loves that and has made a lot of nice pieces which sell readily. She buys old jewelry and re-models it in modern form - a while back she picked up a box of jewelry at a car boot sale and found in it a lovely silver chain which then became mine.

I have sympathy for Simon - I experienced, as did Aaron and Josh, a 25 stroke hard caning on the bare - a nightmare to take!! took quite a wile to get over it!!

Take are of yourselves. J.

PS If Craig eventually comes out with a 1st from Cambridge, which there is every chance he will, that will call for something special from you in the bedroom!!! LOL

Yeah - I think you guys are being sensible about this. In Wales there is a growing independence movement, even anti - monarchist and anti English - same in Scotland. However, the thing we need to realise is that the UK is stronger together than it would be as independent nations.

The issue of Irish re-unification will come up sometime - just recently some research has shown that it would cost a potential £6 billion rising to £17 billion for the re-unifcation of Ireland to take place. The Republic of Ireland doesn't have that kind of money - there is no free health care there and a major housing crisis. Homelessness has become a major problem in Dublin and in some other cities in the Republic. A border poll will take place at some stage but it might be difficult to see it being carried by even a small majority. Northern Ireland has been under funded for years, our productivity isn't what it could be and it has the longest NHS waiting lists of anywhere in the UK!! My Mum is a nurse and still does some part-time work - she often says that the NHS badly needs reformed but it would be a brave man/woman who would do it.

Here in Scotland we have new laws on "hate speech" - there are aspects of this are strange e.g. it would be hate speech if I were to verbally abuse a man who is wearing a dress but not if I was to verbally abuse a woman who is wearing the same dress. This law has been talked about for years and criticised for not giving enough protection to women. Under this law in Scotland what was said about your kids in hotel reception could, if proven, be classed as "hate speech" or is it merely a personal opinion? If is is a personal opinion then the hotel reception was hardly the place to voice it - not very professional.

Well, it was back to work and University on Monday - getting back into the routine of us both working and Robbie going to nursery has taken a while. It's a busy life!! We're looking forward to holidays at beginning of July - its a repeat of last year with Mum and Dad bringing their caravan and the rest of us meeting up with them. We'll be "triking" of course so they pick Robbie up. Mum and Dad enjoy their caravan although they make a point if using it every weekend from Easter through to October. Most caravan sites close end of Oct. until April - it is an expensive thing to keep parked up on their drive so they like to use it as much as possible. We don't know about Josh yet - his unit has been sent out to the Middle East to plan and carry out, if needed, a se borne rescue of British citizens should Iran attack Israel. this could possibly put him in harms way so this is an anxious time for his wife and for us as a family - he has a son and another baby on the way. We think that he will be OK but we don't know - there isn't a lot of communication so all we can do is wait. The Brit forces won't be entering into the conflict but mistakes can be made when missiles are fired.

Craig will be really getting stuck in to the work now coming up to end of year exams but I'm sure things will go well for him. I hope that Jack and rosie are doing well at school and that you are able to work things out during the week along with the help of James and your Mum. Before you know Craig will be graduating and then will come the job hunting (or further study) Has he any ideas about what he might like to do?

How's the tanning of the legs coming in preparation for the Seychelles? With all this wet weather those of us who wear shorts are more likely to get a coat of rust rather than a tan!! You'll enjoy the Seychelles - actually did have a holiday there once when we were kids - nice place. something to look forward to. Take care. J.

Hi Dave - Craig is probably right - better to let this sort of thing go. However, I would have thought that the hotel is in clear 2breach of contract" here. A double room was booked (NOT a twin room) - the service paid for wasn't delivered - breach of contract. However, these things probably aren't worth pursuing as it would have to go to court etc etc - just a lot of hassle to make a point. Not worth it - life is way too short!!!

I agree - completely out of order to comment on the children - you and Craig are providing them with a secure home - that is what matters - and the children aee happy and well cared for. You'll always meet prejudiced people!!

There is also an anti-English element in this but you will find this in Scotland as well!! The next General Election may be an eye-opener in Scotland: there's not massive support for independence here but the SNP tries to make it appear to be so. Interestingly, if Keir Starmer is to make it as next PM he's got to win a number of seats for Labour in Scotland - that has always been the case.

And yes...even with Clare's parents here it was possible to have a good $%!@ - just be quiet about it!! Same applies to a tent!! Just thought I would end on an LOL note!! J.

Hi Dave - completely shocked to hear about your experiences in Wales. Firstly, at the hotel - same sex marriage is legal in Wales, therefore there should have been no issue about you and Craig being a married couple. The business of a hotel, I should have thought, is to provide the service the customer has booked and paid for - in this case a double bed. My Dad, as you know, has his own business - if he discriminated against people either on the grounds of sexuality or race or colour then he would soon not have a business - in my work I have to be open to everyone and treat all of our clients in the same way otherwise we'd have no clients and might even be in court for discrimination. Comments passed by staff at reception regarding the children were completely out of order and the staff member making them should face disciplinary action - again, it isn't up to me to judge someone else's relationship or their sexuality. I have gay friends and get on really well with them but they don't flout the fact that they are gay nor do I flout the fact that I am heterosexual. People in a same sex marriage should have the right to have children - in fact, Jack is your own son, and his mother, your ex, is dead and gone, probably a good thing for Jack! Surely the two kids are better in a stable relationship and in a stable home which you and Craig can give up - wise up folks!!

There is often an undercurrent of homophobia and racism in society no matter what we say and no matter how much we try to stamp it out or to get people to understand. I would think there was also a fair amount to anti English feeling there as well - a lot of people in Wales refuse to recognise the Prince of Wales as he isn't Welsh but English. I'm not sure Scotland would be a lot better esp. in relation to the English and possibly with regard to same sex relationships - it is one thing making something legal, entirely another to convince hearts and minds that it is OK. I think you just got to mark this one done to experience.

Clare and I have had a good week - her parents have been here and love helping out with Robbie - we did get out and about but the weather wasn't that great. We got out cycling, running and swimming (with Robbie who loves the water) as well as going out for a meal together. Clare really needed the break - but all good things come to an end - it's back to nose to the grindstone on Monday again!!

Sorry about your experiences in Wales J.