User: heather k

:-)

You are my new best friend!

My counselor had just told me to focus on what I liked about my body, and I was talking about that with my friend, and that I liked my legs and she said I had a cute buttt and we were just laughing and joking around when she suggested cutting down a pair of my jeans really short, and we just did it, and it kind of went from there.

I guess I had to grow up fast. My mom lost her job and we moved in with my $%!@ sexist maybe abusive uncle, which was really bad for me, and then we finally moved out and in with a couple of other people before her friend in New York, and then we moved in with another friend when she found a job here, and I think she lets me get away with a lot because she feels guilty about stuff, but also she trusts me. Plus I basically had to homeschool myself a lot of this past year so I didn't fall behind.

I don't think you should make your daughter wear shorts. I would get $%!@ed off if my mom tried to tell me what to wear. We used to be really close when it was just me and her and we are okay again, but after she kind of stopped being my mom I kind of stopped talking to her about things, and I still don't the way I used to. But I still talk to her friend Denise.

Maybe you could bribe her, though. She wears some outfit that shows off her legs to something, like denisey posted happened to her, and you do something she wants. Then if she has fun, maybe she will think it isn't so bad. But if she doesn't have fun, it might be worse. I don't know. None of my friends are like that about shorts, we all wear shorts, just some aren't as short as mine.

Isn't there anyone like Denise that your daughter has to talk to? If you are going to make her do anything you should make her talk to someone. That is what Denise did for me, that and introducing me to "My So-Called Life", and it wasn't her at first so much, it was a bunch of counselors before we found one I liked, but that made me feel okay with Denise, too, especially that she let me keep saying no to different ones that I wasn't comfortable with, and at the same time made me keep trying to find someone. She also made my mom see someone. Plus she was basically taking care of my mom, too.

I have to say, though, that most parents really have no clue what is going on in their teens lives, IMHO. My friends and I even joke about it sometimes, but sometimes it is just scary. It is a lot harder for us than I think it was for them growing up. School is more dangerous, sex is more dangerous, and the world is more screwed up, and most of them don't care. Not that I think you don't care, you are probably one of the good ones. But that still doesn't mean you know the first thing about what is happening in her life, or that she would tell you.

You should really watch "My So-Called Life" with her if you want to start talking with her. I mean, no one dresses like that anymore, but the show is really still true to life about being a teenager. That's what Denise did with me and my mom when we moved in there, and we would talk about things in the show. Cause the parents there are really good parents, even though they don't know who Angela is anymore.

I'm 15. I'll be 16 in October, so I'm not that much younger than your daughter is. I used to be and still am really shy about my breasts, or what there is of them. I make Kiera Knightly look like Dolly Parton, and my mom has small breasts too, so I don't think they are going to grow any more. I mean, if I have my shirt off, you can tell I am a girl, but barely, and I used to get teased.

I always wore pretty short shorts, but last year I started wearing really skimpy shorts to kind of shift attention to where I measured up better, and that worked really well. Not in school or anything, but to the mall or the zoo or hanging out with friends, and I started wearing a bright orange thong bikini to the beach or pool. I do get teased about dressing $%!@ty (I'm still a virgin, so back off) or showing too much sometimes, but that never hurts the way being teased about my lack of development did. I almost never get teased about that anymore.

I haven't really gotten over being shy about what I have up top, but I am more comfortable with my body now than I was. I know that isn't the same as your daughter, but it is similiar. A lot of girls have things about their bodies they don't like.

At first I wasn't actually all that comfortable wearing shorts as skimpy as I wore, or wearing a thong bikini, but now I am. I am actually more comfortable talking to boys in my bikini than wearing anything else, like even at school. So that would probably work for just getting used to wearing regular shorts, too, once she starts doing it.

Of course, if there are other things that are causing her to be so shy it might not be that simple.

Thank you, Mr. Mister Poll person, but do you have any idea how long that is going to take? I was really excited when you first answered and I was going to say thank you here when the Fashion category showed up, but I guess it takes longer to change stuff than I thought it would.

I was gonna wait to do some more polls until that happened, and I had school anyway and figured I would have more time in summer. But now it's summer, and I don't know if it is worth waiting for the Fashion category to start, so it will be easier for people to find them, or just do them anyway.

Thanx!!! It's my first one. I am glad boys are voting in it. I was afraid it might only be girls voting. And I am excited because they liked my suggestion to make a new directory section for fashion, which they really need.