User: laura987

Sam,

I see where you are coming from, and I wish more boys were more comfortable being naked in front of their mothers, her female friends, etc... However, most boys (particularly teenage boys) are not brought up in this fashion and hence become completely embarrassed in such situations. Nudity alone would best serve as a behavior modifier for these types of boys. You unfortunately might need to be shamed in another manner or even have to face a bit sterner punishment (such as a few hard slaps on your already bare bum) if you had similar behavior issues.

Modern educator's point about having the boy (you in our hypothetical) explain why he is naked to female visitors is a good one. Their commenting on his (or your) exposed state and discussing the fact that he is naked by force, not by choice, as a result of his poor behavior might bring the desired feelings of shame and remorse.

@sruguy and others,

I disagree with you. Clothing restrictions and mandatory nudity can be a behavior modifier. The first step to changing bad behavior is changing the boys' attitude toward it. They should be ashamed and embarrassed by their bad behavior - as their mother is. Her punishing their bad behavior in a way that shames and embarrasses them will associate that feeling with the behavior itself. Over time they will be ashamed and embarrassed by their bad behavior, modify their feeling toward it, and change of their own free will.

@The poll's creator,

Obviously, you can't do anything illegal. However, teen boys who don't grow up in situations where they are naked around others can be very modest about their developing bodies. Requiring the 14 y.o. and especially the 18 y.o. to undress completely from the moment they enter your home and stay that way until they leave it will certainly embarrass them. Having frequent female guests in your home while they are in this exposed state will maximize the experience.

A sister bathing brother is always more appropriate. This is the bottom line and the most basic guideline for these types of situations. Two factors lend to this logic. Girls need to maintain a certain level of modesty that boys don't. Also critical, girls can handle nudity situations with the opposite sex where they are the one dressed and in control more maturely than boys.

Sure, different ages and situations call for different levels of privacy rights and behavior (as your questions suggest), but in general the result is the same.

To break it down along the lines of your questions: Any girl (doesn't even have to be sister-brother relationship, could be just a babysitter) age 10+ can bath either a 4 y.o. or 8 y.o. boy. This means she can determine when he needs a bath, undress him, physically wash him (including his privates), dry him, leave the door open, etc... Privacy rights and modesty should not be factors for boys of this age.

A teen boy (age 13-17) is a bit different as he matures. Many things, including the behavior of the teen boy who still behaves like a kid, his hygiene, or his disrespectful attitude toward his sister/mom/other female, justify the teen boy's loss of adult privileges such as privacy and control of his own bath-time. In general, I would want the sister to be at least 14 y.o. and any other female (say a babysitter) to be a year or so older than the teen boy. Up to age 14-15 I'd say it would be ok for these non-mother females to do all the things they would with a younger boy, up to and including physically washing the boy's privates. After age 14-15 they can be present during the teen boy's whole bath to observe that he is maintaining proper hygiene and behavior, but should probably let him do the actually washing, etc... himself.

I'm am the mother of a 13 year old boy. I have often taken him to the beach growing up, and it has been my habit to make him go nude for the whole visit unless someone complains. From the moment he gets out of the car till the instant he gets back in it the only thing he has on is a double coat of suntan lotion (a mom has to make sure she rubs it into all the little crevices and on all the dangling parts to keep her boy from getting sunburnt). Note that we do not go to "nude" or "clothing optional" beaches but regular ones. I'll also mention that most of the time other children his age are clothed; in fact, almost all the children are clothed save perhaps some under the age of 5ish. I'm not worried about this or his possible embarrassment. I'm teaching him that as a boy, he has no need of modesty. Oftentimes other children (especially girls) or parents will stare, and some will ask why he is naked. However, once I explain few will say anything negative or complain. More often than not other mothers in particular are quite approving, and a few have even told their own sons to disrobe in turn.

You make some good points, but in the U.S. (and North America in general) seat belts aren't required in the back seats. Also, who said the car was going 50mph? This certainly wasn't the case in the situation I described. Overall, I agree with you that it is probably better to wait till we get there and have him change in the car when it is stopped, but sometimes you really are in a hurry.