Modest Islamic dress for women (ladies only please!)

I love my new hubby to bits and want to please him, but I’ve already made lots of concessions: I’ve given up my job and I’m now a housewife. I’ve converted to Islam: I pray 5 times a day, I’m not allowed alcohol and I wear a modest hijab whenever I leave the house. I traded in all my trousers for dresses and skirts. But these were his conditions when he proposed, so even if I think they are unfair I knew in advance and can’t complain.

I didn’t agree to veil myself from head to toe as though I was his personal property, ashamed to be a woman and not to be seen in public. Why should I? Of course he is in charge but that doesn’t mean he has complete control of where I go, what I do and who I see. Of course I’m his, but it’s like he wants to control my femininity 100%.

If Muslim ladies don’t think it is necessary to wear black abaya, niqab and gloves then maybe this poll and any messages will give me moral support. But PLEASE do vote honestly. I’m a new convert and more than anything I want to know what is expected of me.

S

If you would like to discuss this matter with me feel free to email me or IM me on kailey1992@hotmail.co.uk

I should not be reading this, but I am a male and I feel sorry for all the Muslim women that are controlled by their husband or other SALAFIS. If you want to be free, why marry someone that does not believe in woman rights and freedom?

This poll is a female-only space and it was disrespectful of you to intrude. I do hope that at least you didn’t vote. My husband monitors my email access very closely so I had to own up to him that a male had intruded. To my surprise he told me to post a reply.

We now live in my husband’s family home, a small gulf emirate, after he decided that moving to a conservative Muslim environment with very traditional attitudes towards women and girls would be good for a new convert. I guess he’s right: wearing abaya and niqab is easier when all adult woman and teenage girls are covered up - back in the UK other girls running around in tight jeans and T-shirts drove me CRAZY! Of course it is a massive change for a girl who grew up as a tomboy and something of a feminist to adapt to a quiet daily cycle of childcare, housework and religious observance. What is important though is that only Islam provides a 100% safe environment for woman and children. I’m 100% protected from crime, alcohol, drugs, s*x abuse, bad language, pornography etc and I can concentrate 100% on being a good housewife and mother, which as our religion teaches is my correct life’s role. I do find our dress code onerous, but where women display themselves to non-mahan men this tempts us into immorality. Far better to put up with the discomfort and inconvenience of abaya, niqab, long skirt, stockings, gloves etc, even in 45 degrees of humid heat. Our religion teaches us that the fires of hell are hotter still so don’t feel sorry for me! My femininity is reserved 100% for my husband which is what all wives should want, shouldn't they?

Hi Sheherazade

My name is Emma and I am 21 years old. Much like you, I grew up in England in a pretty agnostic household. I was definately a Jeans and T-Shirt girl for the first 20 years of my life, but since I married a year ago, all that has changed. I married a old-fashioned muslim, and although I too agreed to the rules, I didn't realise how strict they would be. I'm not allowed to go out without permission and someone being with me, my old clothes that I loved were thrown out, and when I do go out I have to wear the very constricting niqab and abaya and I am not allowed to have any male friends other than my husband either. I am also not allowed to drive anymore.

I live with my husband and his Mother-(who is extremely strict on me), and I am now 4 months pregnant with our first child. But they are both still very harsh on me. I am really struggling to adapt to this new lifestyle that I am in now, from the clothing, to having to do all the housework, to the feeling of being owned, to not being able to go out, is really getting too me. I do love my husband and want to please him, and find Islam beautiful but I am really struggling.

Maybe you could give me some tips or advice on how you got through the first 1 or 2 years and how/if you adapted?