User: Emma1992

Well, it is true though. Men are visual creatures, and if you are putting yourself out there in short skirts which barely cover your bum, then you should expect some unwanted attention.

Dress like a $%!@, and you deserve to be treated like a $%!@ as far as I'm concerned.

Thanks so much for the quick reply Sheherazade. I really appreciate it. It's nice to know that I am far from the only one that is struggling/struggled to make the required changes from a strict but very agnostic background to a strict Muslim family.

Thanks for the congratulations! Definately hoping for a boy, but a girl would be beautiful as well. How many girls do you have, and what are their ages? And How many children do you and your husband plan to have, if you don't mind me asking? Yes, I understand my old life was wrong-(as my Mother-In-Law reminds me of all the time. lol) but I have to say, it was fun as well. I know that wearing tight jeans, mini skirts and tank-tops out in public is wrong now, but I sometimes do miss it. Espicially when I am out with my husband or Mother-In-Law-(I am NEVER allowed out on my own) and see girls dressed as I used to be. I look after and am proud of my body, and covering up with an abaya and niqab isn't easy for me because of that. With that said, you are right I am kept safe that way, and I am glad for that, because when I was younger I did get in some potentially dangerous and scary situations where I was harassed by strange men, and am glad that the days of those things happening are over.

Yes, Now I pretty much never talk-back to my Mother in Law, it simply isn't worth the potential punishment or the wasted energy, even when at times I think she is being a little too harsh on me, espicially when I am having morning sickness, and am not at 100%.

I do enjoy my prayers, obviously the 5 times a day was hard for me at first, as before I married, I never really prayed. But I am starting to enjoy it now, and really starting to feel the prayers. It is also a nice break from cooking, cleaning and the like. And yes, I am required to wear skirts all the time. And not cute skirts either, but the old school frumpy knee-length skirts with tights on underneath. I am not allowed to wear trousers or jeans anymore. The day after the wedding, my Mother in law, actually threw all my jeans, trousers, T-Shirts, shorts and mini-skirts into a fire! It definately upset me at the time, and it still does a little today to be honest-(you have to admit, it was pretty harsh). With that said, all of my cute dresses I still have, plus some new ones that my husband has bought me, that I wear purely for him in our bedroom. So, I still get to wear nice things that make me feel good about myself when it is just the two of us.

If you don't mind me asking, what is a typical "punishment" for you if you disobey or upset your husband/Mother-In-Law? I am just curious as a fellow wife who is subject to punishment.

Emma.

Hi Sheherazade

My name is Emma and I am 21 years old. Much like you, I grew up in England in a pretty agnostic household. I was definately a Jeans and T-Shirt girl for the first 20 years of my life, but since I married a year ago, all that has changed. I married a old-fashioned muslim, and although I too agreed to the rules, I didn't realise how strict they would be. I'm not allowed to go out without permission and someone being with me, my old clothes that I loved were thrown out, and when I do go out I have to wear the very constricting niqab and abaya and I am not allowed to have any male friends other than my husband either. I am also not allowed to drive anymore.

I live with my husband and his Mother-(who is extremely strict on me), and I am now 4 months pregnant with our first child. But they are both still very harsh on me. I am really struggling to adapt to this new lifestyle that I am in now, from the clothing, to having to do all the housework, to the feeling of being owned, to not being able to go out, is really getting too me. I do love my husband and want to please him, and find Islam beautiful but I am really struggling.

Maybe you could give me some tips or advice on how you got through the first 1 or 2 years and how/if you adapted?

Please resend it. I think my instant messenger is having problems.