User: TraceyInSkirts

What is proper dress for a Muslim wife http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/490494

I’m an ordinary English girl from an atheist / agnostic background who converted to Islam on marriage 3 years ago. I have twin 2 year old girls and I’m pregnant again (boy this time please!!!!!!!).

I wondered if there was anyone – either converts or girls from a liberal Muslim background – who have adopted niqab and who would like to share experiences (women only please!).

I thought I would start out by going through the poll questions and explaining my answers.

HOW OLD ARE YOU? I’m 26.

DO YOU LIVE IN A MUSLIM COUNTRY? No, but we’d love to live in a Muslim country eventually

WHERE DO YOU LIVE In a small town in Northern England, but we will soon be moving to a part of East London where there is a large Muslim community many whose ladies wear niqab. I’ll be sad to move away from my own family but I can’t wait!

DO YOU LIVE IN A MUSLIM FAMILY? I was borne into an agnostic, notionally Christian family. I converted to Islam on marriage – my husband-to-be made this a condition of his proposal.

DID YOU STUDY AT AN ISLAMIC SCHOOL? No, I studied at an ordinary secular mixed-sex school with very few Muslim fellow-pupils.

DID YOUR MOTHER OR OLDER SISTER WEAR NIQAB BEFOEW YOU STARTED WEARING IT? No, my mother, my 2 older sisters and I all wore very ordinary English clothes, mainly jeans / trousers, T-shirts etc.

WHAT AGE DID YOU START WEARING NIQAB (FACE VEIL)? When I was 24, a year after I married

DO YOU WEAR NIQAB BECAUSE YOU ARE FORCED TO BY A FAMILY MEMBER? My husband obliges me to wear it.

WAS IT OBLIGATORY TO WEAR NIQAB AT SCHOOL? No, no one wore it! I’d never even heard the word!

ACCORDING TO THE SHARIA OF ISLAM, DO YOU THINK WEARING NIQAB FOR WOMEN IS…? I believe it is obligatory

DO YOU SUPPOT OTHER MUSLIM WOMEN WEARING NIQAB IN YOUR COUNTRY? Of course! We should work for a world in which all women in all countries wear niqab.

DO YOU COVER ALL YOUR FACE (EYEBROWS, FOREHEAD, EYES, NOSE, MOUTH …)? Yes, I cover my entire face including my eyes and eyebrows.

HOW DO YOU COVER YOUR EYES? With a gauzy, black veil that comes down in front of my niqab.

DO YOU FIND IT DIFFICULT TO SEE AND BREATH IN NIQAB? To start with, I found it ever so claustrophobic, stifling and isolating, but my husband said that millions of women wore it every day and I’d get used to it. I’ve learnt to see OK although it does limit my peripheral vision. Breathing itself is OK but the moisture that condenses on the niqab makes unpleasantly damp.

WHAT STYLE NIQAB DO YOU WEAR? I’ve experimented with a number of styles. Currently I’m wearing a full screen headband-style niqab – a band of fabric that goes around my head above my eyes with ties that fasten behind. The opaque covering that veils my face except for the eye eye-slit and the filmy eye screen that comes down in front to provide full privacy are attached to and hang from the headband.

WHAT COLOUR ABAYA AND NIQAB DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? Only black

DO YOU WEAR GLOVES (TO COVER YOUR HANDS IN THE PRESENCE OF STRANGE MEN)? Yes, always. Black gloves, black shoes, black stockings etc

DO YOU WEAR EYE SCREENS TO COVER YOUR EYES IN THE PRESENCE OF NON-MAHRAN MEN? Yes, always.

WHO DO YOU UNCOVER YOUR FACE IN FRONT OF? My husband and my father are the only men I who see my face. I don’t have any brothers. I veil in the presence of my brothers-in-law (my sisters’ husbands and my husband’s brothers). I unveil in all-female gatherings (Muslim and non-Muslim).

DO YOU WORK OUTSIDE THE HOUSE? I was a trainee solicitor before I married but I’m now a full-time housewife.

DO YOU THINK WOMEN IN MUSLIM COUNTRIES SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO WORK? I certainly don’t think that women have a general right or need to work. Our priorities must always be housework and childcare. I think we need for a small number of working women, with their husband’s permission and avoiding contact with men: lady doctors who can practice from home (my husband wouldn’t let me to consult a male doctor); schoolteachers – our aim is to set up a co-operative homeschooling network to give our daughters an Islamic education in a safe and private domestic environment.

DO YOU DRIVE A CAR? Not any more. I owned a car when I was single and did drive occasionally when newly married but my husband didn’t like it.

DO YOU THINK WOMEN IN MUSLIM COUNTRIES SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DRIVE? Our place is in the home so we have no legitimate need to drive. I don’t see how we can drive safely while covering our faces with proper modesty. So no, it shouldn’t be allowed.

DO YOU MAKE SALAT IN YOUR HOUSE OR IN MOSQUE? In the house. When we move to an area with more Muslims maybe I’ll go to the mosque occasionally.

DO YOU THINK THAT MOSQUES SHOULD ALLOW WOMEN IN? I think that mosques are essentially for men. We can pray quite adequately at home. Men and women at the mosque together would be the worst possible scenario, we would distract one another from our prayers. If mosques have a segregated area for women that’s nice but it isn’t a high priority.

DO YOU COME OUT OF HOUSE WITHOUT ACCOMPANYING MAHRAN? I never go out un-chaperoned and I always ask my husband’s permission. Most often he takes me himself but if he is working he occasionally allows his mother to take me to a ladies’ party or a local shopping trip.

DO YOU EAT IN PUBLIC? No

DO YOU THINK WOMEN IN MUSLIM COUNTRIES SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO COME OUT OF HOUSE WITHOUT ACCOMPANYING A MAHRAN? A young married woman should never leave her home unescorted or without her husband’s permission. Any non-local journey certainly requires a Mahran. But my husband does allow his mother to take me out occasionally so I guess it must be OK.

HAVE YOU EVER SPOKEN TO A NON-MAHRAN? I used to speak to them all the time! When I go out nowadays my husband or his mother does all the talking. My mother-in-law deals with any men who call at the house while my husband is at work (postmen, meter readers etc) – she sends me upstairs if they have to come into the house.

DO YOU THINK WOMEN IN MUSLIM COUNTRIES SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO TALK WITH NON-MAHRAN MEN? Girls and young married women should make every effort never to do so. Mature ladies (like my mother-in-law) may have to do so occasionally out of necessity.

DO YOU TALK IN THE PRESENCE OF NON-MAHRAN MEN? If I have to I whisper quietly to my husband or mother-in-law so the non-mahran can’t hear.

DO YOU THINK WOMEN SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO TALK IN PRESENCE OF NON-MAHRAN MEN? If she really needs to she can whisper quietly so the non-mahran can’t hear.

DO YOU ANSWER E-MAILS OR INSTANT MESSAGES FROM NON-MAHRAN MEN? No

DO YOU UNCOVER YOUR FACE AT SALAT I usually perform salat in the home and unveiled. Very occasionally I have to perform it in a public place and then I remain fully veiled.

IN WHICH SITUATIONS WOULD YOU UNCOVER YOUR FACE IN FRONT OF NON-MAHRAN MEN? Only in exceptional circumstances such as emergency medical treatment and security checks at airports if there is absolutely no woman available. I pray that these situations never arise.

WHAT’S YOUR REASONS FOR WEARING NIQAB? To show respect for my husband and commitment to my religion

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MUSLIM WOMEN WHO DO NOT WEAR NIQAB? I believe that they are profoundly in error but it may not always be their fault – some of our believing sisters are prevented from proper veiling by husbands or parents acting out of a misplaced sense of liberalism. It is hard to condemn the girl in a knee length skirt and a short-sleeved blouse who acts with proper shyness and modesty. On the other hand an immoral woman can tempt men expertly just with eye shadow or painted nails. So there is no alternative to full veiling, hands and eyes included.

DOES WEARING NIQAB IN YOUR COUNTRY ATTRACT TOO MUCH ATTENTION? Yes. Ideally all women would wear it and only an uncovered face would stand out.

DO YOU FEEL FREE TO WEAR NIQAB? Yes, but it does stir up some hostile comments

WOULD YOU TEACH YOUR DAUGHTERS ABOUT NIQAB? Yes. They are only very little but they are already learning from my Niqab.

WOULD YOU TEACH YOUR SONS TO RESPECT AND APPRECIATE WOMEN THAT COVER FULLY? If I am blessed with sons I will teach them to honour fully covered women. I will teach them to consider as prospective wives only fully veiled girls or girls who promise to veil in full once married.

ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE VERSES OF THE QURAN AND THE HADITH THAT TALKS ABOUT NIQAB? I know that our Prophet told his wives to cover their bodies and veil their faces.

DO YOU AGREE WITH THE ISLAMIC LAW THAT REQUIRES THAT THE WHOLE FEMALE BODY (FROM HEAD TO FEET INCLUDING THE FACE) BE CONCEALED IN THE PRESENCE OF GHAIR MAHRAN AND THAT WOMEN SHOULD NOT EMERGE FROM THE HOUSE UNNECESSARILY Yes

WHICH SCHOOL OF FIQH DO YOU FOLLOW Hanbali

DO YOU APPRECIATE HAVING "WOMEN ONLY" RESTAURANTS IN YOUR COUNTRY? WHAT ABOUT RESTAURANTS WITH ROOMS IN WHICH WOMEN CAN EAT WITH THEIR HUSBANDS WITHOUT NON-MAHRAN MEN SEEING THEM? Ladies can entertain one another in their houses – there is no need for women only restaurants. Restaurants with ‘family rooms’ might be nice. But when we travel my husband brings me food to eat in our room – it isn’t a problem.

WHAT AGE DO YOU THINK GIRLS SHOULD START WEARING NIQAB? Girls must be trained in modesty from infancy. They must be fully veiled by the time they reach puberty.

WHAT LEVEL OD EDUCATION DID YOU FINISH? I have a postgraduate law degree

I’d like to conclude by challenging a few common misconceptions about Islam. Islam is not anti-woman. Quite the opposite: by keeping us in the home it frees us to develop our full potential as women!

Islam denigrates neither female sexuality nor feminine beauty. On the contrary, our religion fully recognises and respects the power of our sexuality. Our men cherish and treasure our beauty AND our chastity! These are the exact reasons they veil us in modesty!

Islam isn’t puritanical! We may be fully covered in public but we all dress up to the nines for ladies’ parties – evening dresses, big hair, makeup, bling…there may be no men present but we get VERY competitive! My husband likes me to be 100% feminine in the home and he’s more than generous in buying me clothes. I used to be a trousers girl but the one thing he insists on is skirts and dresses only, otherwise I have just as much freedom as any other wife.

For a woman who isn’t used to it, full niqab takes some getting used to, but it is more than worth the effort. Covering in full has taught me to revere my new religion and to respect my beloved husband. Of course there are things I miss: male friendship, a glass of white wine, the wind ruffling my hair. I used to love tennis and swimming and I was a county class 400m athlete. But veiled in black from head to toe I feel more loved, more protected and more truly feminine than I ever did as a “liberated” Western woman.

Looking forward eagerly to your relpies (women only please!)