User: TraceyInSkirts

I only lower the outer layer of my niqab when a man is in close proximity, otherwise I flip it back. I always avoid eye-contact so I think that is OK. A girl should always be in the charge of her husband or a mature female relative so she never need engage in direct conversation with a man. I want to stress that the purpose of all these rules is to PROTECT THE GIRL! If her morals are protected and her reputation is protected then her husband's honour is secure and nothing can compromise her essential role as wife and mother!

Hi Majir,

I agree with your post. Leaving the home is a privilege not a right and there is no need for it to be comfortable or convenient. Not so sure about the pillow - what's wrong with regular pregnancies!?

My husband takes me to other Muslim homes - mostly family - in our car with tinted windows so that's fine. I try not to look but I can't avoid noticing girls running wild in tight jeans and crop-tops, and it just KILLS me. Afterwards I have my little 'freedom fantasies' for a few days - you know, swigging a beer on a tropical beach while snogging Justin Timberlake - and I get some really HOT dreams, so don't tell my husband! To make up for it I put on my baggiest housedress and devote an entire day to my grungiest chores - that cures me!

I guess all veiled Muslimahs have some strange experiences. I had a very earnest young woman grab me by the arm one afternoon and try to drag me into the local women's centre while telling me all about feminism! I just and muttered 'Muslimah, not allowed', but she wouldn't let go until I threatened to call my husband! I feel a bit weird whenever I get a racial comment but no one imagines that there is a blonde English girl under the yards of black nylon!

It is best for a whole group of fully covered Muslim ladies to go out together and I feel safest if I stay right in the middle of the group. My husband allows this so long as my mother-in-law or one of his aunts is there to chaperone me. We gossip, go to the shops and enjoy a snack just like anyone else. Even after 9 years of marriage I'm still not very good at eating an ice cream or sipping a soda under my niqab - it usually ends up dirty and sticky I'm afraid!

S

There is nothing as unattractive and unpleasant as a disobedient wife, particularly a young convert in a Muslim home. By far the best policy is to prevent it in the first place. As a wild and wilful young woman I was subjected to a very strict regime designed to make it impossible for me to rebel. I resented it bitterly but I do admit that it was the best and most effective way of adapting me to my new life.

Here are some of the lesions I learnt

Impose a very strict dress code. Full skirts, stockings and aprons inside the home. Abaya, under-scarf, hijab full-face niqab, gloves etc outside the home. This has a remarkable moral impact on any young girl used to running around in jeans and T-shirts.

Permit absolutely no contact with non-mahan men.

Keep her focussed on cleaning, laundry and ironing. Any spare moments can be occupied sewing or chopping and pealing in the kitchen. Crack down hard on the slightest signs of laziness or idleness. Keep her tired physically and mentally and she cannot rebel.

Exercise close supervision at all times. All kinds of mischief can be hatched in moments of privacy.

Subject her to the full daily program of prayer. Require her to memorise all the verses even if she does not understand them.

Restrict her media access to matters concerning housework, childcare, religion and moral instruction. On no account allow her access to a mobile phone, email or internet. Narrow her horizons to force her into her new role.

Reduce her to an entirely passive role in the bedroom, focused on pregnancy. Crack down hard on the least sign of physical expression, assertion or resistance. On no account allow her access to contraception.

Thank you for your sweet message Clare - please see my response to your other poll.

Dear Clare,

I'd love to share experiences and mutual support with a sister-convert but my mother-in-law disapproves if I do anything not 100% focused on the home so I'll need to be very discreet. I can try to email you when she visits her sister in a week or so unless she takes me with her. Also, my husband controls my email account and sometimes reads my messages - he's demanding of my conduct but tolerant of my feelings.

Must rush; socks to wash, sheets to iron, little bottoms to wipe, MinL to be obeyed! Speak soon sister.

S xxx