User: KitsuneAngel1

Yay! :D hihi!!

About making friends: It's just hard to put myself out there especially with everything going on with me and being afraid people are judging me. I know it might maybe be good to do it its just super hard. Yeah thats okay you don't have to help sometimes I just want to vent or explain why something is like that. You dont have to help me work through it tho, I've got a therapist for that haha. (:

And yeah having a little friend has been great! It's nice talking to someone who "gets" my little side and I dont feel awkward talking about it to. It's weird because she's so indepedent and adult and I really didnt expect someone who is a little to be like that. xD It's also just crazy talking to someone from the big city! It's so different there!!! She hates it tho and wants to leave after college lol. I dont blame her it seems crazy out there.

About doing stuff around the house: I know... my therapist says the same thing. I know I should work on that stuff but its hard and I dont have much of a chance here at home tbh, especially with my parents home all the time. :\ They just kinda do all that for me. I've asked to cook and stuff before but my Mom always says "maybe sometime next week" and it never happens and my Dad is always so tired from work on weekdays its hard to get him to do anything lol. And tbh I'm really bad at remembering to do stuff like that unless I'm reminded so usually my Mom ends up doing it for me since I forget. :\ My therapist has talked to my parents about it and I do some stuff! Like I started doing my own laundry this summer! (:

Yeah I'm happy about finally having some variety! :D Megamax has a bunch of different colors and crinklz are really cute. There's some other ones I've seen that are cuter tbh but I dont know if I could ever get my parents to buy them lol. I'm happy with them for now tho! I only wear crinklz at home rn because I'm worried about wearing a diaper like that in public haha. I know its dumb because I try to do a really good job at making sure my diaper is covered 100% so it'll probably be fine but I get worried about like what if I need to do an emergency change in a public bathroom or something. x_x Crinklz are pretty good tho! I'm glad you liked them too haha. Do you have a little side too or is it a medical thing? Only thing is the tapes are sometimes sketchy. <_< It's worth it imo unless you're being really active! More absorbent I think and really cute! :D

Yup my parents still use back zippered sleepers every night and with covid and everything being closed and most stuff being on zoom and the stress of everything making me have some issues with keeping my diapers on during the day sometimes I've been wearing them pretty often during the day too.

But yeah sometimes I wish I could convince people I dont need them anymore lol. A while ago I asked my therapist if she thought I was ready for front zippered ones at night and if maybe she could tell my parents that I was. She said she could talk to my parents but with how stuff has been recently she would still "strongly recommend" back zippered ones so idk. :\ It's not like the biggest deal I'm not allowed to wear them anyway, sometimes I just want the option I guess. I know there are probably a lot more selection with front zip ones but they have downsides too. Like unless they zip all the way down to the ankle I have to get totally undressed to change so they're not the best daytime wear and even they do zip that far its still easier just to wear something that snaps or zips up the legs. I want them more as a nighttime thing. Idk maybe I just want my parents to trust me enough to let me wear them but with my brain I guess I understand why they don't. :\

About diapers and sleepers making me feel litte: Idk not exactly the same as it used to be. Ever since I tried Crinklz I noticed they have a tendency to make me feel little, but "normal" diapers don't at all. They're just underwear to me idk. Its the same with my jammies and onesies, like I might ask to wear an especially cute print if I'm already feeling little but just wearing them doesn't really put me into littlespace at all. Not like my paci or cartoons or doing little activities would. I think its different if its something you have to wear or do every day, it just becomes normal.

Yeah I've noticed you're pretty interested in that kinda stuff! I can't judge tho cuz I mean come on, I'm pretty weird too lol. xD I'm an incontinent nerd whos a little and loves anime and video games lol. I know you've given me a lot of emotional support too! Thank you for that, I really do appreciate it! It's okay if you wanna talk about your stuff too haha, especially since sometimes I feel like our convos are all about stuff that happened to me and then you giving me advice, which I 1000% appreciate but I dont want to be that girl who just always talks about herself. It's ok if its weird I mean I told you about my little side and thats pretty fing weird lol. I know you're not a creep like some of the people on here lol.

Wow that's a really long story! I didn't have the chance to read much of it since my bedtime is coming up really soon but you seem to be a pretty good writer at least! It's so sad what happened to her friend! ;_; I'm happy my story could inspire you creatively tho! :D Nobody's ever wrote a story inspired by me before. xD (Also isnt brushing your teeth 3 times a day a lot O.o)

Hi Carg! :D It's been a long time but my semester is done so I figured I'd give you an update!

Rosa and I ended up doing zoom mainly. We met up a couple times before school started up again for her but with her job and then that plus her classes she's like super super busy and didnt really have time to hang out as much as we used to. I was a sad pumpkin about it. She's also got her own friends from work and stuff too and she's always been a lot more grown up than me so I kinda understand why she wants to hang out with other people like her instead of me but I'm still sad about it. We still talk and stuff its just not the same.

I think my parents and I have found a happy medium with my little stuff which is really nice!!!! A while ago during the fall I finally worked up the courage to ask my parents to try patterned diapers and after I explained myself and how I've been wearing the same ones for years they actually let me order some! They were actually more concerned whether the new ones would work as good as abenas than with the patterns lol so let they let me get some samples. That went well and now I'm allowed to wear megamaxes (so many colors!! O.o)and crinklz too!!! (Since my Mom still orders them for me I didn't want to pick any from actual little sites :\ but tbh I'm just happy to have some variety!)

I even have a bunch of patterened onesies now!! :D The only thing is I was sketched about picking any of the super duper little designs because I was scared they would say no but its cool cuz they have so many patterns out there it wasn't hard to find cute ones that don't scream "little" haha. Paci rules are still the same tho. That's the one I really wish they would change because its not just a little thing for me having it really helps me with stress and anxiety and also helps me concentrate on stuff like homework and reading. >: I sneak it sometimes but its not the same cuz then I'm worried about getting caught and having them take it away until after supper again. ._.

Overall tho Im super happy they're getting used to it and my therapist is helping with that as well. Especially my Dad has come around more than I expected him to and doesnt seem so weirded out by it anymore which feels really nice. I like being accepted. c:

We're all vaccinated now too! It looks like my parents are still on work from home until the end of the summer still. Once they do go back to work I'm hoping they let me stay home alone more or longer but I'm not optimistic lol. I kinda didnt do super well in school during the spring semester sooo.... idk. :\ I just hope its not my aunt again lol.

I know I have to learn to be independent at some time I just think maybe after college is best! :D I hope I find a bf or something like that around then too its just hard with the corona restrictions and being incontinent and everything else.

I did reach out to some little communities online since we last talked! I tried talking to a couple people to make friends kinda but I didnt end up making any real friendships with anybody except one girl. She's super cool and from the big city! :O We don't talk super often because shes really busy but I'd say we're kinda friends at least! (: It's super stressful for me to put myself out there like that tho so I think thats enough for now lol. I introvert I no like putting myself out there. D:

Yeah I didnt really think about it til now but maybe the big trigger for wanting to get deeper into littles stuff for me was the stress of going to college and having to be part of a completely new school with all new people and not wanting to disappoint my parents who are paying for it. It kinda came out at the same time all that stuff happened.

I definitely get a lot of anxiety about doing or saying the wrong thing so I hate having to make decisions so I kinda get what you're saying there but also I do want more freedom too. But also with my autism and social anxiety and everything idk how much I can really handle at once. :\

Idk maybe I just dont know what I want lol.

Anyway sorry the update took so long! Now that Im on summer break I'll check back more often! :D

I'm back! :D

With autism and stuff, yeah I hope learning about it early can help. It's harder right now since I have to video chat with my therapist instead of having actual sessions but I'm making do. (:

Uh yeah I still talk to Rosa. I was really excited when she told me she was taking a semester off to come back home and save up money but with the whole coronavirus thing it's not like I see her anymore than I did before. I told her last winter-ish and she was one of the first people I talked to about my diagnosis and the first person I talked to about being a little and it was crazy because neither part surprised her at all haha. She was actually happy for me which was a huge relief and gave me a lot of the confidence I needed to tell my therapist and later my parents. <3

There's a ton of little stuff I'd love to have! First of all you can never have too many stuffies or coloring books. :D I also really want some of those cute printed onesies since all the ones I have are pretty plain and boring ): There's also a bunch of different diapers with cute patterns on them I'd love to try. I probably could only wear them in the daytime but some of them are absolutely adorable and it would be cool to wear something other than abenas for once. It's not that I don't like abenas, honestly they work really well... they're just kindof blah and I want to try something new. I'm trying to work up the courage to ask my parents to let my try them but like I said I don't want to push my limits with this little thing either. :\

I probably wouldn't want my room to look totally like a nursery but I think something sort of in between a 100% little room and what I have now would be awesome! I know it's super unrealistic (not to mention embarassing x.x) but I kinda want to try a crib haha. I don't think I would ever want to replace my bed with one or sleep in one every night or anything like that and having to wait to be let out every morning would kinda suck but it'd still be nice to just try it out for a night (not that it will ever happen lol).

Yeah I actually learned about littles and littlespace on the internet! It was crazy having someone on the internet basically describe everything I've felt when talking about themselves and it made me feel a lot more comfortable with who I am. I do sometimes "lurk" on little communities but I'm scared to reach out. Idk... I'm just not really the type of person to spontaneously strike up a conversation with someone and I have a lot of anxiety about doing it. I still feel so new to it all too and I'm scared of saying the wrong thing... I know a lot of the people do seem really nice and accepting and it would be nice to talk to someone like me someday but I don't think I'm ready for it yet, if that makes sense.

Also is everything okay with you and the whole coronavirus thing going on? It's okay here, I live pretty far away from any big cities so while it's still pretty crazy I'm not too worried anymore. I was basically dying of anxiety for the first few weeks though. 0_0

They shut down a ton of stuff like sports games, a lot of stores and even my parents are working from home now. Like they even shut down my school so all my classes are on my laptop! A lot of people are complaining but having to stay home is totally fine with me haha. I don't have to wake up early and can spend all day (and even go to class!) in my jammies and play animal crossing. I also never have to deal with the drama that comes with having to go out in public as an incontinent girl, so that's a plus for me.

It's also nice having my dad home more. He still spends most of his time in his office but I like being able to see him throughout the day. (:

It really sucks that Rosa decided to take a semester off and come back home right before a global pandemic starts meaning that we can't see eachother in person though. We live in the same city but it feels like she's still at college. :\ I also miss having my cousin come over but since my parents are home now and we facetime each other a lot so it's not that bad.

Hi Carg!

It's funny that you called them puzzle pieces since I'm pretty sure puzzle pieces are the autism awareness symbol haha. But seriously, it's like I've just felt different my entire life and never really fit in anywhere for very long and it's nice to finally know why and that's it's not totally my fault. I know on one side it's just another thing I have to deal with on top of everything else but I was actually so relieved when I heard the diagnosis. And on top of all that actually having like a real, solid understanding of what makes me the way I am and having someone I can talk to whos an expert on it makes dealing with it a lot less scary.

Honestly I wish I would have been diagnosed earlier. It would have saved me a lot of worrying. :\

About being a little: Lmao is it weird that I don't really think of diapers and one-piece pjs as little stuff? Certain kinds of pjs can make me feel little, but truthfully diapers don't really make me feel any more little than I already feel normally. Maybe if I had diapers with cute prints on them or something I would feel differently but maybe not. I don't know. :S

My Mom has actually been the most accepting about it and that was a surprise. Even though it's been a couple months since I've told them I think my Dad still finds it really confusing and is still getting used to it. I wish he was as accepting as my Mom has been but I also don't blame him really, it IS kinda weird but it's also harmless, you know? Right now I'm just trying to give him time to get used to it and hoping that helps.

As for the age I'm most drawn to I don't really know. :S I'm still kinda new to all this and haven't really thought to much about it but I don't think I have one, or if I do I don't know it yet haha.

About being a little vs abdl: All I know is for me littlespace is like my safe space and my happy place combined so it would feel really weird to mix it up with sex stuff. If I could find a boy who's okay with having a little as a girlfriend that would be cool, but I doubt I'd ever want to "do anything" in littlespace.

I do have a sippy cup! It's got big smiley cupcake on it! :D Most of the little stuff I have right now is left over from the last few Halloweens lol. Tbh I don't really have that much "actual" little stuff rn. Besides a couple pacis and my sippy cup I have two little-style onesies that I got for Christmas and that's about it. I guess I have stuffies and coloring books and certain clothes that make me feel little but all that is the same stuff I've always had, now I just stopped feeling guilty about feeling that way and lean into it more now. And yeah, I def don't have a crib or playpen or anything big like that lol. My parents were weirded out enough with the pacifier and sippy cup, imagine their reaction if I told them I wanted a crib! xD

I dont know if realizing I'm a little has really affected how I dress in public too much. Tho tbh I dont think I ever really appeared that "grown-up" in the first place. xD Even after I figured it out myself and worked up the courage to tell my therapist I didn't tell anyone else for a long time so I haven't had the chance to get much new stuff to embrace my little side and having to fit diapers under everything kinda limits my options. :\

What I wear at home depends on a lot of things really. Once I get home if I'm wearing overalls a lot of the time I just kick them off and wear a onesie around the house if its not too cold, especially if they're not the kind with snaps in the legs. If I'm already wearing comfy clothes like one of the sweatsuits my grandma made or a fleecy jumpsuit I usually just keep it on until it's time to get ready for bed, but if it's close to supper time or I'm feeling lazy/tired then it's jammies 100%. It gets more complicated when it comes to little stuff though.

When it's just me and my parents I keep my sippy cup in my room as like a water bottle and sometimes I'll wear my unicorn onesie or something around the house but because they said one of their biggest worries was it interfering with my studies and since this whole thing is still pretty new to them I try not to do too much more than that right now. Tho I do get to wear my paci after supper every night after I've got ready for bed and you'd better believe I take advantage of that! :P

When my parents are gone I still usually have someone over to watch me since my therapist and my parents think its still a good idea. I'm not really mad at it because it's something I've gotten used to and ngl I kinda like the company haha, but since I haven't told my Aunt or the other lady who comes over that I'm a little it kinda limits what I can do so with those two I don't do anything different from what I normally would. BUT I did tell my cousin (well, she kinda found out on her own O.o but thats another story) and she was super-duper awesome and understanding about all of it and lets me be little whenever I want so that's pretty great! :D

As far as staying at home goes, that's what I've been saying! People were saying I should move out and I was like "nuh-uh!" :P It's not like I'm not gonna move out EVER, just not yet! Plenty of people in my classes still live with their parents.

And thanks! It's nice to be back on here! I'm sorry it was so long between posts, I kinda thought once you said there's not much to discuss anymore that you meant the topic was over. O.o I'm happy it's not though! I like having someone to share my highs and lows with and get some outside perspective. (also listen to me vent if I need to.) :]

Hi Anon! ( ･ω･)ﾉ

I haven't been on here in a while but occasionally check back on here too. I've been busy with college and everything but don't worry about interjecting, it's fine! :P

And sure, I can update ya a bit! It's been a long time and a lot has happened haha so idk what really I should cover but I'll give it a try.

One big change is I got a new therapist/psychologist and she diagnosed me with mild ASD. It sounds like it sucks but it was actually a big weight of my shoulders since it explains so much for me and why I have trouble fitting in and other issues. My therapist and I are working on it together and it's nice to be making progress even if it seems slow. :D

I also figured out why I like kiddish things so much more than other people... I realized I'm a little. I'd heard of littles before but I didn't think it could be non-sexual but it totally can be and there's actual a bunch of people out there like me! "Little" stuff makes me feel safe and happy and I used to feel really insecure about it but my new therapist really helped me understand that it's okay. :) After taking with her about it for a while I even told my parents, which was scary. They were a little "wtf" about it but it doesn't seem like they care too much about it as long as I keep up with my coursework. They also set some limits on it, which I was upset with at first but I guess it's fair. :\ It's stuff like they'll let me wear a pacifier around the house but not before supper.

The situation with diapers is basically the same. (tho I did try some new daytime diapers recently) I feel like I'm a place right now where my incontinence is managed pretty well and there's not much I really feel like needs to change.

Dealing with it and college at the same time is kindof a struggle but I'm surviving haha. I'm still in back zippered jammies too, but I'm okay with that now. Since I'm in diapers full time it really doesn't matter if I have to wait to be unzipped and because I'm always wearing nighttime diapers with them most nights I only have to change once before I go to bed so it doesn't really bother me. xD They're comfy and I'm used to them now!

And yup I'm still at my parent's house and don't plan on moving soon, at least not before I'm done with college!

Sorry there not much here haha. Is there anything in particular you wanted me to update you on or ask about?