User: KitsuneAngel1

About making progress with independence: What kind of test and what new responsibilities were you thinking about? :S

About social contacts: I know I should probably socialize more but it's hard. ): I'm shy, awkward, nerdy and if that wasn't enough I don't have a car and have to plan any sort of long-term hangout around my incontinence... I do still text Rosa all the time and still talk to Anya sometimes but school takes up a ton of my time. My dad wants me to join a club or something but idk I want to.

About being desensitized to incontinence: Well talking about it over the internet is different than talking about it person and talking about it to people who know me well is easier than talking about it to a complete stranger. I know now that it doesn't necessarily make me immature or gross but that doesn't mean other people do and will treat you the same once they find out. And just because I don't feel like a bad person or feel grossed out about being incontinent doesn't mean I want everyone around me to know I am and I'm not embarrassed when strangers find out. I was gonna give the email thing a try but it seems like omega disappeared. ):

About pjs: Yeah I still wear back zip pjs to bed. Tbh I haven't even thought of asking to compromise on that in a long time. As long as I'm wearing night diapers one-piece sleeper-style jammies are my best option as far as pjs go and since I decided that trying to retrain my bladder was pointless it doesn't really matter whether they zip up in front or in back, especially since I usually stick to the schedule we worked out for changes. Leg zippers are nice if I'm gonna wear them much during the day but even then it's not that big of deal. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

About new clothes: I've got a pair of jeans that I wear occasionally but mostly I still wear overalls and jumpsuits since they work better and I have to buy pants a few waist sizes up so they tend to fit weird. If I want to wear pants I usually just wear the bottoms of the two pieces that my grandma made since they look like fleecy sweatpants or pajama pants. I also have some capris still but I haven't worn them since the summer since it's so cold. Early in the year people said and asked me stuff about my clothes, like why I have so many jumpsuits or where I found them but since it's basically just my style now people get used to it pretty quick I think. Most of the time they don't seem like they're trying to make fun of me and are actually curious, which doesn't mean it's not awkward but its way better than the other option. My classes are pretty big and I tend to keep to myself too which helps. I'm pretty sure I've heard people talking about me behind my back a few times but aside from a few random remarks from a random bitchy girl nobody says anything to my face so it's a lot better than high school lol. I know I dress differently than a lot of other girls but at the same time other girls don't have incontinence and have to think "how is this going to work with my diaper" whenever they buy clothes. It seems like most normal girls only think about style when they pick their clothes but I have to be more practical. And also I just like wearing comfy clothes, especially if I'm just going to class or the library and then back home. (: 90% of the girls in my early classes are wearing sweats or pj pants or leggings on any given day so why shouldn't I be comfy too? :P

Omega:

Well I know I should start learning all that stuff but I'm lucky enough that my parents have everything handled right now and I'm gonna take advantage of that haha. My plan is basically to get started on all that stuff once I'm done with school. Right now my parents want me to focus on getting good grades and graduating and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. One thing at a time, you know? (:

One thing I've learned now that I'm older is that life is way easier when you get along with your parents. Like earlier this year I HATED my parents making me switch to abenas full-time. We fought all the time and our relationship got really bad but after a while I realized that they were right and now I'm actually glad they did. It took me a long time to admit because I'm really stubborn but it really made me realize they know me better than I thought and are just trying to do the right thing. Now I'm earning their trust back and feel good about our relationship! Your right that being respectful also makes a big difference, but I feel like being open AND respectful with them is the best way to go. I'm done trying to hide stuff, it was bad for my mental health and my relationship with them.

College is a lot harder than high school but I'm doing OK lol. It's good your good at math, there's a lot you can do with that! I'm mainly good at history and english and stuff. Out of all the subjects I feel like math is the most work. :\ Luckily there's not many math classes I have to take for my major!

About stuffed animals: Exactly! There's nothing wrong with loving stuffed animals no matter what age you are! I always bring at least one with me whenever I sleep over somewhere. It's also pretty funny that your brother likes them too, I guess he can't be tough all the time lol. I like Pokemon too haha, but I don't think pokemon is that childish there's a ton of people at my college who like it... Pokemon's kinda an all ages thing. I do wish I had a Switch so I could play Let's Go Pikachu! haha. I've heard people talking about it in class and it sounds super fun. I dunno what a vocaloid is tho. :S

It's so great that you've overcome your aspergers and growing up so fast and gotten to such an happy and positive place! I'm happy for you!

I had a really hard time this last summer but I think I came out of it a much stronger and mature person so I do think that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger (within limits obv) and it's great your working on yourself too! I want to give you some advice from my life that I learned recently tho: Take it slow and don't get discouraged by setbacks or if you bit off more than you can chew. You seem like you're doing a lot and I don't want you to overstress yourself and fall backwards. Those are big goals haha, they will probably take a while, but as long as you're making progress you're OK! (:

Idc if we talk about diapers or not really. It's part of my life everyday so I'm pretty desensitized to it haha, this was basically just my place on the internet to complain about incontinence and diapers and everything that comes with it since I can't really talk about it freely irl. Thanks for the compliment haha. I mean you don't really know me but its nice I made a good first impression. :P

No sorry I just have a PS4, ): I got it as a graduation present haha. I only had nintendo stuff before that so I'm pretty new to shooting games.

Sorry everybody I've been busy with school but finals are over and I'm on winter break now!!! :D :D :D

Carg:

About maturity and stuff: Yeah I know I've gone back and forth a lot but I think I'm good now! This last summer was tough for me and I had to dig deep inside of myself to come back from it. I was super super stressed with being done with high school and college coming up and then there was my incontinence which wasn't getting managed very well and it all kinda exploded and made a big mess of my life but on the plus side I think all the fights with my parents about how we deal with my incontinence are finally over. We compromised and found an arrangement we're all okay with! :D

You know how my parents expected me to try to make it to the bathroom whenever I was wearing pull-ups and how I had basically given up on trying to fight my way back to daytime continence? Ever since my parents got me abenas the whole idea was kinda that I would focus on rebuilding my daytime continence while wearing pull-ups but if it was stressing me out too much and needed a break I could wear abenas. The problem was if I wore pull ups whenever I was wet they got disappointed (even if they tried not to show it) and I felt bad and guilty about it whenever it happened. I didn't want to tell them that I didn't think it was worth it to try anymore for a bunch of reasons so I just kept up the charade. My parents started getting more and more fed up and I felt worse and worse about stuff like telling them that I tried to make it when I didn't or making up some excuse. Then after graduating I spent at lot of time at home stressing about college with more distractions and less of a schedule to remind me when to change so leaks happened a lot more than they used to and that's when everything kinda went off. Our relationship at the time wasn't too great already so when they called in and told me that I either had to start making it to the bathroom every day or wear abenas full time I thought they were punishing me. It felt so unfair and I was so mad and hurt and guilty that I stopped listening to them entirely and basically tried to get back at them whenever I could... That was dumb, obviously, and it ended up being this really vicious cycle of my parents (usually my Mom) getting mad at me so I'd try to get back at them or throw a tantrum which would make them get mad at me all over again. I lost a lot of my parent's trust and a lot of my own progress and both my Mom and I both said some things to each other that crossed the line while my Dad kinda just got distant... :\

It only ended when I realized how much I hated living in that environment and finally saw my role in creating it. I waited until my Mom and Dad were both home and had a family meeting type thing where I apologized and was 100% honest (but respectful!) with them. I thought I was gonna be in trouble and I kinda thought "$%!@ it I'm already constantly in trouble" but instead my Mom actually started crying (she. never. cries.) and apologizing to me! Ofc that made me cry and we all hugged and apologized and I actually felt like we were family again. (: After that we had a big long talk and got everything out in the open. Then we agreed to compromise and came up with a system for me to earn back their trust together and guess what? Things really changed after that! It took some time but my Mom stopped getting mad and yelling at me all the time, my Dad started spending more time with me and I started doing my best to get along with them too. Even though it wasn't a perfect transition and I think my parents were/are still a little suspicious of me our relationship is better than ever and I even think my Mom and Dad's relationship is better now too!

whew Ok that was waaaaayyyyy longer than I expected and probably TMI but it felt good to get off my chest and took a while to type so I'll leave it haha. Anyway, college! lol

I think there's definitely a lot less teasing. IDK if people wouldn't make as big of deal about it but people just seem less occupied other people's lives so far and a lot of people seem more okay with people being who they are and being weird as long as it doesn't bother anybody else so I'm a lot less worried about someone trying to like "get dirt on me" or even caring that I wear diapers enough to say or do anything about it. There's also a lot more people here than high school and I dont have a lot of crossover between classes so even if some people found out its not like the whole school would know which has really helped my confidence. I feel more anonymous too. Coming from high school that's nice. (:

I know its still best to keep it hidden lol, there's no way id ever advertise the fact I wear diapers or start telling random strangers but i feel a lot less self conscious about everything. Not just diapers but also stuff like my clothes and my interests (anime and cartoons and stuff like that) which is awesome. I guess I'm still kinda an outsider but at least I have some stuff in common with people here. :D

Some stuff's still awkward (changing in a stall is horrible and I try to avoid it as much as I can, leaks are super scary, talking about incontinence stuff with school staff is mega awkward) but I'm making do. (:

I have a few "school friends" I guess and have hung out in the dorms with a couple of them but I havent really got close with anyone yet. My incontinence kinda gets in the way and the fact I stay at my parents house, don't have a car and can't stay out late doesnt help either. :\ Im mainly just trying to focus on getting good grades and that takes up a lot of time.

About camp: yeah no college kids allowed. I'm bummed but I feel like I was getting a little old for it too. idk... the people there were awesome but the rules and other stuff kinda stunk. :| I still text with Anya and another person pretty often and there's a little FB group for the symphonic band members but it's not super active.

About clothes: Yeah I wore jumpsuits and overalls and stuff like a lot before I got my new stuff. Part of it wearing onesies all the time but mostly I had to get new stuff because I went from pull-ups to abenas so I had to get clothes that fit over them and work well with tape ons.

About combining onesies with a top: Sometimes I do sometimes I don't. It depends on the onesie and what else I'm wearing with it and just how I'm feeling. I have a few long sleeve onesies that I can throw a pair of overalls on top of but other ones are more like undershirts so I kinda need to wear something over the top. There's not a lot of variety in onesies anyway, a lot of them are solid colors or simple prints so I feel like they're just kinda boring by themselves and I'd rather wear one of my shirts because they're more "me" haha.

My grandma's made me a few things since the summer but more importantly she taught my Mom how to make alterations to my clothes! It feels better having my Mom do that stuff than asking my grandma since she already does so much for me. :D

As far as stuff she's actually made for me I got a couple awesome new pairs of pjs and a couple new 2 piece lounge sets. I forgot to ask her not to add feet to the first lounge set but she remembered not to put them on the other one! I was super happy about it at first but I think I actually like the ones with feet better >_> It's all good though since the ones without feet are more versatile since I don't have to wear boots with them and they look a little bit more like sweatpants than my other pairs do.

And since you both want to keep this thread about incontinence and stuff I guuuuuuueeeeeessssssssssss I could try making an email if anybody's still around :\ Promise not be creepy tho ok?

Sorry omega. ): I figured I'd reply to carg first since he's been posting here 4ever lol and I tried to get your reply done but it's almost bedtime rn but I don't have anything planned for tomorrow so I'll respond to you tomorrow. OK? <3

I did listen to film btw! It was kinda weird and EDM like but I liked it! Very peaceful sounding but the drums (I think?) are little crazy for the rest of the song. It's super unique tho for sure.

Yeah I only use fb for messenger really. I never made a twitter and have like 30 followers on insta so there's no point to it really. I totally get what you mean about anxiety. I'm not like a super extraverted or public person so there's not a lot for me to do on there. It's just a weird dynamic and seems to cause a lot of drama.

I got a PS4 as a graduation present so I play on that. I just play arcade a lot or sometimes quick play but I'm not very good. ): My favorite characters are D.Va, Orisa, Roadhog and Mei!

Not even when you were a baby? Lol. Idk I don't really get why anyone would want to have to wear diapers. I mean yeah it's convenient sometimes but it's also like a TON of work. I'm not judging you over it tho, you can like whatever you want, that's what makes you you (: but if I could stop needing diapers tomorrow I would do it in a heartbeat. It's just I know that's probably never gonna happen so I'm trying to make the best of it.

It's good to hear you're getting used to things. I'm sorry you had to grow up so fast. ): I feel like I'm the opposite. (I still have someone come over to watch me while my Mom's at work lol) My parents still do a lot of stuff for me because they want me to focus on getting good grades. I see a lot people I went to school with making dinner for themselves, going to parties and getting jobs and sometimes I get jealous. I used to fight with my parents about it a lot and throw tantrums but I realized doing that is also pretty immature. :\

I still think I have a lot of growing up left to do, and there's some things that I don't think I'll ever give up (stuffed animals <3), but I'm making progress now and don't want to rush it. (:

And no I've never heard of Aphex Twin but I'll listen to the song and tell you what I think! I like all kinds of music but mostly I listen to indie bands and some weird stuff like Kpop.

Hi! ^_^

Idk if I "enjoy" diapers. Tbh it's hard to say how I feel about them since they've been part of my life for so long... I mean there's definitely things I like about them but there's also plenty I'd rather not have to deal with. It's just that the way things have been going I'll probably be wearing them for the forseeable future so I'm just trying to make the best of it.

I also don't know if I should email you right now... no offense. Trust me I totally understand how nice it is to have someone else to talk to about embarassing stuff like this it's just I don't really know you at all. We can talk here though! (:

It doesn't have to be about diapers or incontinence or anything like that either. We can talk about games (I got overwatch over the summer! I play tanks! >:D) or just life stuff too.

I can't really be a night owl because bedtime (I'm jealous your parents let you stay up so late :P) but I'll try to respond quick as I can. I have 3 classes on Monday and Wednesday so I'm pretty busy during the first part of the week but only one each on Thursday and Friday so I usually have time to talk around then!

I also deleted the post your email from so nobody creepy gets ahold of it. :P