User: carg85

In the end your parents have all the power, and they have the final word in what your wear at night (as long as there is no abuse or anything else illegal), at least until you're 18, but after that they can still say that you have to abide by their rules as long as you live in their house. So in fighting their decisions you have no leverage, no way to force them to change their minds. So any chance you have lies in finding arguments that they might agree with, like that footed pajamas would be too warm for summer. And since being angry about it will probably only confirm their idea that you're not yet that mature, your best chance is to have calm conversations about it, explain what bothers most, and perhaps there are some things they can do to make it a little bit better for you. Have you asked them for instance why your pajamas need to be footed? The standard ones from inpetto are not. And you might also ask what it would take for them to let you wear front zip or even 2-piece pajama's more often. Perhaps they will commit to an age or a period of good behavior. With the goodnites I don't see many possibilities - they have their calendar and will probably stick with it, and since you have no control over when you wet, there seems little chance to change that. (I do wonder that if in a few years you start living on your own while still having accidents, whether you'd choose to wear protection at night anyway: I know I would quickly get tired of waking in a wet and smelly bed and having to change and wash the sheets all the time, let alone if the smell and stains would permeate the mattress...) For pj days and overnight trips you will just have to talk to your parents. Perhaps it would help to prepare a proposal in advance that would make it bearable for you but your parents might still agree to.

In the end accepting the situation will be easiest on both yourself and your parents; perhaps you can try to find some positives about the situation, like being safe and warm at night, always waking up in a dry bed, at least having Hello Kitty pajamas,... I know it is not what you want to hear, but like I said, fighting it won't do any good. And actually there are worse types of parent than over-protective ones.

Accidents in the evening? Do they happen because you can't get to the bathroom and undressed quickly enough, or because you don't want to ask for help, or are you totally unaware when they happen? That might lend some extra weight to the argument of my previous post that the pajamas might trigger the wetting.

Locking pajama's with a front zipper? So that they would only lock you in when you go to bed? Well, if you think that would be an improvement, I can give you some links. But the problem with such pajamas is that I mostly know of 2 area's where they can be found: In psychiatry for patients who tend to tear their clothes or undress and start mucking with the contents of their diapers. Those suits are expensive, might not be that comfortable, and will not look very fashionable. See for instance http://www.maree-medical.com/index.php?item=anti-tear-jumpsuit-4741&action=article&aid=621&lang=EN. And those often have the zipper at the back anyhow. Likewise for dementia patients who tend to take off their clothes. The second area is catering to adults who like to play baby ('adult babies'); some of those like to be made helpless, for instance by having their clothes locked on so they are forced to use their diapers. The picture in a previous pest is from such a site: http://baby-pants.com/jammies.php. There are a few more sites where you might order them, but these are usually made as childish as possible, and my guess is you might not like pajamas with rubber ducklings and such. There is one other alternative: those locking zipper pulls are made by zipper company YKK, and you can buy them separately. You can then replace the pull on existing pajamas with the locking one. (Works for most plastic coil zippers.) But they are not easy to find, and replacing an existing zipper pull is a delicate job.

Actually I don't think you can bargain with your parents about wearing protection at night, but you might try to see if you only have to put your pajama's and goodnites on just before bed. I think your parents should stimulate you to use the bathroom also in the evening, instead of making it harder to go, and bring you already in the 'night setting' halfway the evening. (Wearing pajama's sort of triggers the body that night time is there, and night time is when accidents occur...)

For further bargaining on non one-piece pajama's, you probably would want to have been on your best behavior, like not having complained about the current situation for a while. It might be easiest in spring/summer, because one-piece pajama's are often warmer, so you could argue that with warm weather you should be able to wear something cooler. And if that works, and they have no reason to regret their decision, you might be able to extend that when the weather turns cooler.

Fatigue means tiredness: I have about half the energy I had a few years ago, so now I can't do most sports, vacations, etc. It took quite a while for me to accept these limits, because it is always hard to accept when your body is not behaving as is 'should'. I mentioned it because I wonder how much of the frustration you feel towards your parents is actually frustration about your body 'misbehaving'. But since being angry with your own body is not very effective, it is common to find another target for your frustration.

One-piece pajama's always have much room in the crotch, also the ones for adults. That is necessary because you don't want it to press on your crotch if it bunches up a bit at the top. Especially males don't like pressure there, but I assume for females that would be uncomfortable too. I would guess that the ones from in-petto, like your back-zip ones, will be constructed with room for protection in mind, but the adult ones at e.g. Walmart won't.

Yeah, it seam that parents always have a tendency to embarrass their children. What usually works best with parents, is to be mature about it, which means accepting their decisions and punishment for the things you did wrong in their eyes. Then you can start working with them in how to best deal with this inconvenience, and hopefully find a compromise where they might try a bit harder to not embarrass you and hopefully after a while decide that you don't need the back zip pajama's anymore. (But of course as soon as you would take the goodnites off again, you will lose all privileges once more.) The hard thing of course is to let go of the rebellious feelings, and accept the situation even though you don't fully agree with it. Doubly difficult during puberty I assume.

And it is not only their treatment of you that is frustrating, but also having such a socially embarrassing condition. I have undiagnosed fatigue problems, and it has taken me about 1.5 year to accept that it might not pass and there is a lot I can't do anymore.

Norwegian? Ah, then it makes more sense that your parents would order from a German website that if you were Japanese ;-)

You ask what you could say to your cousins about the back zipper? I can think of a few things:
- currently back zippers and buttons are in fashion for e.g. blouses, sweaters, dresses and even jumpsuits.
- a smooth front looks nicer of you wear something with a pattern, since the zipper doesn't interrupt the pattern.
- some people find the zipper end at their throat irritating, and prefer a smooth neckline in front.

A lock on the zipper would also work on front zip onesies or for people who can reach that button flap. And with a padlock only the keyholder can release you, where with the button flap any cousin or friend could let you out. (I know in your case you would not want them to because they would then see the goodnites, but the people answering the poll might not realise that.)
With 2 fabric loops or D-rings at the top of the zipper you can prevent the onesie from being taken off, and if you can put the padlock through the zipper pull, even from opening the zipper. There are even zippers with a build-in locking mechanism.

Many people answering polls are from the USA, where sleepers for children, and even teenagers and adults are more common. The benefit of a sleeper is that a diaper is held in place even if it gets heavy, where it might drag down pajama pants. So that might be why so many people answered those were the best.
And I guess parents would be worried that their child might ruin other peoples beds by wetting on a sleepover or trip, so they might even find goodnites more important than at home.

Hi Kitsune, I see you made a poll on betwetting, and have some answers now. I'd say you did a pretty good job in creating neutral questions to have a better chance of getting honest answers. How do you feel about the results? It still seems that many of the people answering share some of your parents idea's. Carg

With the Wello the site says they can also put in footies on request, so that seems likely.

I don't quite get why your father is complaining on needing to buy you new mattresses all the time if you have pads. Or are they not sufficient protection? It also sounds unfair that they counted your episode with them in the garage as a strike, since that was not unintentional wetting. They probably argue that you just should have gone to them and not try to cover it up. And why put you in the PJs so early if that is only to prevent you from wetting the bed?

If you want to change the way they deal with this, I think no poll is going to convince them. Perhaps your best chance is to get another adult on your side, like a relative, school nurse, or doctor, and see if they can help you work out a way with your parents that works a bit better for you. But it will still be a compromise at best.

If you are going to try getting up at night to visit the bathroom, you of course need to work that out with your parents: otherwise you'll be at the toilet without a way to take your PJs off.

In the end all the fighting and trying to find ways around their measures haven't made things any better for you - worse in fact. I'd like to find out what exactly is the thing that bothers you most. I don't think it's the PJs themselves, but is it the goodnites because they are uncomfortable or for children, or is it still hard to accept that you have accidents that you can't control, and feel shame especially if anybody else sees it? I know this probably is a pretty sensitive subject to write about on a public forum. You're welcome to email me personally at carg85@xs4all.nl, but of course you can't tell whether I can be trusted, so that might not be a good solution either.

Something different: your alias, KitsuneAngel1, sounds a bit Japanese to me. Are you, or your ancestors, from there? (It's none of my business of course, but I am curious whether this kind of treatment happens more often in certain cultures.)

About another poll: like I said I don't think it's likely your parents will change their opinion based on an anonymous poll, but if you ask what other people might do in your situation, either as you or as parents, you might get some useful tips from others (if you use 'essay' questions partly).