User: carg85

Yesterday I saw on the TV a short lecture of a neurologist researcher about teenager brains and behavior. In particular about risk taking. She did an experiment with boys and girls of different ages, and gave them a reward the further they managed to blow up a balloon, but no reward if it burst. Compared to other age groups, most balloons burst the age category of 13-17. (Interestingly there was no difference between boys and girls.) MRI images also showed that the reward center of the brain is much more active in that age group, while the center that deals with caution and consequences is not yet as well developed as in adults.
Actually that might mostly be a good thing: teenagers need to explore their boundaries, and it is safer to make bad choices while they still have their parents at hand to help them with the consequences.

So you could say that the risks you took with the incontinence materials are 'age-appropriate', and this study shows a bit of an explanation why you were not more careful. Of course it would be too easy though to just blame your age and the development of your brain; you could still have made different choices, even when the cautious ones might be a bit harder.

Anyhow, I thought this information might help a bit in not being too hard on yourself, and that failing the test is not specifically childish, although not adult either.

Just ran into a weird jumpsuit at an auction site that made me think of you: it buttons between the legs, and thereby can be converted between jumpsuit and dress:
item on auction site
It is a Dutch auction site, and the store it links too is Dutch, so it would probably hard for you to actually buy, but thought I'd share the link anyway (there are 8 pictures).

Edit: I searched a bit more, and here is a similar one on eBay: https://www.ebay.com/itm/Womens-Jumpsuit-Loose-Sleeveless-overalls-Blue-Dress-suspender-trousers-fashion/391951451276

I'm sorry that your privileges were revoked again; and of course it is harder to have something and lose it than to never have it at all.

It sounds like you are angry at your parents, the pull-up, and the bad luck, but are you angry with yourself as well, for not sticking to the rules? (Now you have experienced that the rules actually make sense and not following them creates a mess.)

For now it is best just to process the emotions and try to get used to the new reality. Once you have settled a bit (perhaps in a few weeks) we can see how you think about the near future, and if you want to start working again on self-confidence, popularity, etc. But first you need to find your balance again. It's OK to feel frustrated for a while, because you did lose something precious to you.

One thing I think you should do soon though: make it up with Rosa. I see why you think she had a part in it too, but it is probably hard for her to be strict with you and be your friend at the same time. And you need her very much as a friend, so even if you feel hers is some of the blame, I'd advise just to apologize to her and don't mention her part in it.

Hmm, it sounds like you need to be a little more careful with your new-gained privileges; you have only one strike and it would be pretty hard to lose them again. I guess next time you'd change right back to your night diaper after the visit was over? And if the missing diaper cover would have caused leakage that would definitely be a strike. One of the downsides of adulthood is the responsibility, where 'only occasionally' forgetting to pick the children up from school or feed the pets just isn't good enough.

About what to wear: perhaps a t-shirt with the overalls with the lowest sides (perhaps even lowered a bit more with the strap length), or ones that are slightly more fitting around your behind, combined with a stuffer, would be enough for you to feel insecure, which is probably all that you need for a first experiment. But perhaps there are pants you could borrow from Rosa/your mother/... (I don't know of course if anyone around you has the same size), or even get one from e.g. a thrift store for a few $.

I quite understand that you are not considering wearing back zip sleepers at the moment, and I was only thinking about in a few months, when the novelty of being in control again has worn off.

Are the new overalls from your grandmother so wide that they have no buttons or zip around the waist then? If they have to pass over your padded hips they must be quite loose around the waist and chest area !? You do sound quite pleased with them. I guess you already worn them to school by now?

Perhaps you should indeed wait with wearing more attention grabbing clothes to school until you can at least appear to be more self-confident, or you might not be able to pull it off. I can't judge if the weird looks you got while shopping in your pink jumpsuit were indeed negative, or that they just appeared to be so because of your insecurity. That is why I think it is important that someone else is with if you go experiment with a possibly noticeable diaper - she might be able to judge more objectively how people look at you.

It is always hard to start being more confident. One of the things that can help is practicing moving around with your head held high, and not looking down much. (Just don't trip ;-) ) The body and mind interact, and having a proud posture will also influence how you feel about yourself. Another thing you can try is to focus on positive things in your life, like your newly gained privileges, keeping dry more often during the day, good grades, etc.
These things won't happen overnight, and you will probably quickly drop back to your old posture and thinking patterns as soon as you loose focus. That is normal. Once you notice that, just try to pick it up again, and gradually it will become easier and you'll be able to keep it up a bit longer. Once other people pick up on that and react a bit more positively towards you, it will add to your confidence and everything will become more natural.
Another thing that might improve the attitude of others towards you is not to be shy in making some casual compliments to people you would not normally interact with. Just in passing by, not expecting anything in return. I don't know anyone who got angry because of a simple, meant compliment. It also helps to show interest and laugh at jokes. (Not forced, and not girlish giggling, but don't be afraid to let your mirth show.) Be open to opportunities, and perhaps practice beforehand (in the mirror/with Rosa/...), but try not to make the actual interaction seem rehearsed.
A lot of tips; just see if there is anything you think you could give a try, and be prepared that such things take a while and require a lot of effort before they start paying off. Baby steps.

So, if you are already wearing front zippers, you must be 18 by now? Congratulations on your birthday then. (Please don't mention the actual date - the fewer details you give the less chance people might recognize you or track you down.)

Why did you feel the need to change out of your PJs when your friend came over? Would it be so unusual for you to change early into your comfortable and snuggly onesie, and cocoon? Or are your night diapers just too obvious? Shouldn't putting on a robe over them be sufficient cover?
If you hadn't put on a pull-up for the short period you might have been in trouble though, so I might have made the same decision as your father.

If you try to see if people will notice if you are less careful trying to hide your diapers: I guess night diapers might be bulky and noisy enough that they might draw some attention. Otherwise you could always put on a t-shirt instead of a onesie, and wear overalls where the sides don't go very high. Not sure if you have any pants left. You don't have to make it so the diaper shows; for a first time being OK with the risk of occasionally showing a sliver might be enough.

It sounds like you have quite a cute collection of back zip sleepers by now. I'm curious if in a few months you might sometimes decide to wear one again, when it is voluntary, while there are still people around to help you.

So your grandmother made you an extra pair of overalls too. In what way are the different from the ones you can buy (apart from the snaps)? Higher sides? Back zip ;-) ? Are they recognizable as being home-made?
And with the tops of the 2-piece sets I wouldn't be surprised if she made them extra hard to take off on purpose, by making the button holes just a tad smaller than normal and getting a fiddly zipper. She'll probably have to adjust her thinking now that you are allowed front zippers again.

Why would wearing the pink jumpsuit to school be a bad thing? Have you ever had bad experiences by drawing attention with bolder clothes choices? It might also be a useful exercise to be a bit more proud of yourself and less afraid to get noticed, although of course you probably shouldn't combine it with an obvious diaper ;-)

About popularity and getting boyfriends, for me going from high school to university made a big difference in that aspect: suddenly a lot of people around me thought and felt the same way as I did, and we shared interests, while of course high school is a big melting pot. So if you pick a direction to study that really suits you, that might happen to you as well. And being popular has a lot to do with exuding confidence and good spirits, so you might think about working on those. The nice thing about the timing is that you still have more than half a year to practice such things, so that when you enter college or university and can make a new start, you can make a good first impression. I think you should also feel proud of yourself for your parents trusting you more now - small steps, but a step a day gets you a long way ;-)

Randomly meeting an interesting boy wearing diapers too is indeed a small chance, but the chances are a lot better at one of those special summer camps, forums about the subject, etc. Having a shared handicap and swapping experiences about it is a great way to get closer, and who knows what happens then. And also: self-confidence, positive attitude, and showing your interest can get you a long way towards a relationship - but that might be a lesson for another day. Let's first get your popularity from zero to one, and then beyond even that :-P